Friday, December 3, 2010

Fetish Friday: Liberate Me!

Okay, confession time about a personal would-be fetish of my own. Style be damned, I want to furnish my entire bedroom in Liberator Shapes. This will never happen, of course, in part because I have inquisitive children and it’s hard enough to keep them from playing with my yoga ball. It is all too easy to picture walking into my living room and seeing the kids using the sex ramps to make a fort! 

But practicality (and expense) aside, what is not to love about these things? I mean just look at them:

They come in a variety of colors. 

They come in all sorts of interesting shapes...  

and sizes. 

There are even some sneaky options, like shapes that fold into different combinations (that nifty red ramp pictured at the very top is called the “Flip Ramp,” and it folds into a cube the size of an ottoman - and you can even get a faux leather slip cover to disguise it further…if I ever were to get a Liberator shape, that would probably be the one). 

But perhaps the best thing about Liberator shapes is that they come with a full range designed to facilitate the kinky stuff - Black Label!

Yay! Kink is fun!

Oh my gosh! Just look how happy and cheerful these people are! You can tell they are absolutely thrilled that their sex ramps come with all those convenient attachment points! The cuffs are sold separately, I believe (the cuffs come in various fun colors, too). And also the flogger (anybody else notice that she doesn’t seem to have left any marks at all on that ass? No wonder he’s still smiling. She needs to get to work). 

Sadly, there is no Black Label version of the Flip Ramp, but most of the other shapes do come in both Vanilla and Kink flavors. And you can buy conversion kits to put Black Label covers on previously purchased shapes. Those folks just think of everything. 

And this is nice: Special pricing for military families (you could use your shapes to build a fort while living at a fort, perhaps). I sort of love this.

But wait, there’s more! Lest you think your imagination unequal to the challenges presented by these foam-filled wonder-platforms of love, the thoughtful people at the Liberator company have created a whole series of instructional videos. Okay, some are instructional and some are just very informative free soft porn. But I think they all fall into the “educational” category. If by “educational” you mean “learning fun and interesting new sex positions that are available only to those with Liberator shapes!” Needless to say, all these videos are so very Not Safe For Work or Kids

Oh, Liberator shapes. How I wish I could afford you. But at least your website is extensive and entertaining. Sometimes, hilariously so! 

And yeah, if I did have these things, my husband and I would SO also build forts with them. How could we resist? I’m sure that’s really what George Clooney had in mind with his*.

He's thinking about how much this fort is gonna rock!
*Okay, I admit that although I haven’t seen Burn After Reading, I know just enough about it to know that the George Clooney character was only using that ramp for its intended purpose. Boo. Why not do BOTH? 

[all pictures are from the Liberator website,, which assures us that the models are all over the age of 18. Except, of course, for the one of George Clooney from the movie Burn After Reading, by Working Title Films/Focus Features (2008). And we know he's over 18].


  1. Oh, man, seeing the kids playing with these would be so bad. You'd have to have a locking closet, for sure!

  2. Oooh, I want to go shopping. I'll find a place for them. Where there's a will there's a way.

  3. A locking closet, or some sort of crazy under-bed storage that locks. Someday, someday I will have a place for these. I only hope that by that time my arthritis isn't too advanced for me to enjoy the use of them.

  4. I've...ahem *cough* heard that the Black Label Liberator ramps are super fun, and yes, those cuffs definitely come separately. ;) There's even a ramp with a spot to hold your Hitachi Magic Wand in place. We don't have that specific shape, but I know what I want for Hanukkah... Since I wrote a Liberator ramp into one of my books, I wonder if I could write off the purchase? I better call my accountant. LOL