When I write BDSM, when I think BDSM, I usually think about intense, sexy, edgy play between partners. Okay, it's not all whips and chains in my books. Sometimes it's clamps and hot wax instead (grin). But as between any type of sexual partners (caveat here that BDSM does not necessarily involve sex but is often sexually or sensually charged) the ability to laugh during play, particularly at oneself, is essential to healthy relationships. If plans for a scene go awry (and not in a bad, dangerous way, but more a fumbling mistake) Doms and subs and Tops and bottoms should all be able to laugh. Heck, if you have a tickling fetish you pretty much have to assume laughter in the scene. And just because a Dom carries a big whip, doesn't mean he or she must take themselves seriously all of the time. That the BDSM community can laugh at itself is wonderful. Laughter and humor are healthy, healing parts of life and human relationships. They balance out the seriousness of the other intensely charged moments.
In the spirit of laughter, here's the link to the most recent
BDSM Bad Advice cartoon, a satire on topics in the BDSM community. The website and blog are quite popular with an active Twitter feed.
Finally, I'll commit to a small 2011 New Year's writing resolution and make sure there is laughter in some of the sexy, kinky scenes of my next books. Our best lovers are people who can make us laugh as well.
I am really working hard to add laughter to more love scenes, BDSM or not. I think laughter is sexy and you're right, our best lovers can make us laugh.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to report my success later in the year. Glad you agree Ari.
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