PROTOCOL -- Noticeable in BDSM erotic romance?

"Protocol," in its meaning within the BDSM world, is the formal, structured responses that a sub learns in order to know what is appropriate for them to do in any given circumstance. (see Words of Power chapter for credit for this definition in Raven Kaldera's excellent book, "Dark Moon Rising: Pagan BDSM and the Ordeal Path.")

High protocol comes off as more formal. Low protocol is less so. I remember reading about various waiting poses a sub or slave might take upon a Dom(mes) command, with each pose going by a formal name and even number. So if I called out a number two, the sub might be on the ground with their arms in a certain position. This is one example of protocol. Or the protocol may be how the sub addresses his Dom(me) or how they offer to help with something. "Mistress, how may this slave serve you?" The responses may relate to something blatantly sexual or may be completely reserved and asexual.

Kaldera reminds us that protocols vary by couple, subgroup, and locality. There's no single protocol for subs and Doms, only ones that work best for the individuals using them. Apparently there's been a lot of wars fought over the "best" protocol. The kinky community is not above its own pettiness, as much as I'd like to report differently.

So my question is this. After reading the definition above, I've realized I have used protocol in my stories. But do readers outside of the lifestyle recognize it for what it is or even think about it? I'm hoping no, because that means I'm writing deep enough for that distinction to be meaningless and for the stories to grab the readers and sweep them away. I never portray my submissive characters having any anxiety about learning correct protocol. And they shouldn't. A good Dom(me) trains thoroughly and correctly, taking on the responsibility for finding a way to make the important lessons stick.

Discuss amongst yourselves. If you write BDSM do you explicitly notice your own use of protocol between your characters? If you read it, has protocol popped out of stories at you before?

Safe, sane and consensual,

Michelle