Wednesday Whips: The Challenge of Two Dominants

I write menage. I write BDSM. Combining them both I have to make specific choices about dominance and submission among the threesome so they can find their happily ever after together and keep their functioning triangle happy. My first novel, Bound Odyssey, involved a dominant female, a male switch (submissive to her), and a male submissive (sub to both my Domme and the male switch). Those dynamics solved the problem of what to do with two dominant characters involved in a poly triad. My lucky sub got both a Mistress and a Master. My Mistress got two subs and the switch got to, well, switch. Neither of the dominants had to express their love of one another from an equal position of power.

But the idea of two full dominants inside a working relationship of three fascinates me. How do they survive? How do they share? How do they express their love for one another? My recent release Fettered Love posed just that problem. Kirk, my dominant hero, had fallen in love with his best friend from childhood, Sarah, and dreamed of a life with her. Unfortunately, about the time he was discovering his identity as a Dom, she was discovering hers as a Domme. And it grated on him. They never could come to terms with their romantic love for one another. Fast forward ten plus years and the story action includes a male submissive, Evan. They both love him. And it turns out that they can cooperate fairly well to Top him. He's their missing link, so to speak.

Is this a realistic solution? There are a number of marriages in the kink community where both partners are Tops, love one another, and solve the problem by pursuing other submissives. I don't know how common it is that they share, but poly relationships come in all flavors. And even kinksters are allowed vanilla sex if they want it.

I came across a link to a hilarious YouTube video about the difficulties of two dominants cooperating. Again, the kink community has no problem laughing at itself, and the video below is a prime example. Enjoy. And let me know what you think about the reality of two dominants sharing a submissive. I think it might be both a submissive's heaven and hell. Talk about the need for coordination? Who has the ultimate word he must follow? Oy! I'm glad I don't have this problem.



Safe, sane and consensual, R.A.C.K., what have you,




Michelle

BDSM - the perfect romantic fodder

Okay, I admit I posted the above pic just because it's one of my favorites. I've posted it in other places before, but what better site than on a blog devoted to BDSM stories. I'm Michelle Polaris, one of the authors creating tales for our brand new 1-800-Dom-help series collaboration. I write exclusively BDSM erotic romance and have two books out with Ellora's Cave, Bound Odyssey (a futuristic m/m/f menage) and Magician's Chains (a m/m contemporary fantasy).

Although I'm still finishing my story for the 1-800-Dom-help series (as yet unapproved working title Fettered Love), I wanted to discuss a topic near and dear to my heart: how the subject of BDSM is the perfect fodder to use in romance stories. What better way to get at the topics of trust, communication, honesty, and healing of the past psychic wounds of our heroes and heroines than by laying it out there explicitly as is intended in the BDSM scene. When people play with one another in this lifestyle, it is common and highly recommended to explicitly negotiate contracts between play partners about their boundaries, their kink interests, and the limits to activities they will and will not agree to try. This includes situations straddling the cusp of those limits. The issues of power exchange are laid bare between involved parties -- who gives up their power and who takes the power -- in a way that is seldom discussed in vanilla relationships where you'd be a fool to think power was not an issue. The idea that partners must trust one another is blatantly paid tribute in the BDSM world. And the healthy acceptance of the wide spectrum of human sexuality is acknowledged.

I'm also a big believer in the symbolic and cathartic power of playing out scenes involving trust between partners. As a writer I like to develop characters with wounds from childhood. Inevitably this involves betrayal or abandonment or abuse of some time. I know, very dark, but it's the burden of angst I bear. A powerful BDSM scene between protagonists can draw out that pain and act as a corrective force, a healing force. And the scenes are very intense, wrenching the heart. There is a lot of room for characters to demonstrate in the clearest way possible that even when there is pain there can be love, and that trust will not be betrayed.

So if you're looking for light reading fare, you probably don't want my books. But if you marvel at the ways honest, loving relationships can heal the soul in the face of adversity, then check out my past stories and or any of the 1-800-Dom-help stories from our group of talented authors.

And chime in with your opinion about the use of BDSM in romance. What does it mean for you? Certainly it's freakin' hot, all character growth aside.

Safe, sane and consensual folks--

Michelle