Whip it good.

I love the whip. I recently acquired a 4 foot black leather whip made by Axel of Whips by Axel. I just loooove it. I bought it right from the whipmaker's hand at a demo on whips. I was interested when I went to the demo but fell in love once I got my hands on one.

What is it about the whip that is so alluring? It looks so simple by itself, but once you start using one, you realize how the power of pain can be harnessed in a change of pressure behind each throw.

There are different kinds of whips like the bull whip (like Indiana Jones used), the quirt (a type of whip with a forked "dragon tongue" on the end), and everything in between.

Generally for indoor BDSM play, the single tail whip is a popular choice. It is suggested the length be controllable at about 4 feet. I have seen 3 foot single tails, but it takes more experience to throw properly. Control is key.

The basic throw is really quite controlled and depending on the pressure, it can range from a light tap to a very painful sting. Imagine casting a fishing line out into a lake. If you want to go further, you throw harder, closer is gentle. Same thing.

Note the picture of the single tail whip. The whip is made of leather plaited tightly by a master craftsman. The end is made of plaited nylon. The nylon is the portion which comes in contact with the skin. No, not the leather part, the nylon. Never drag the whip on the ground and then use on someone's skin! The nylon can be cleaned with some alcohol to keep sanitary, especially if used on more than one partner. And a whip shouldn't be passed between people for use. A whip is like the individual. If you loan it to a friend and get it back, you may end up feeling a change in the way it throws. It is suggested by Axel to never loan out the whip. It gets used to the owner's hold and style.

Yes, there are masochists who want to be whipped. They like the pain. They welcome it. Good thing when there are sadists like me who enjoy watching a fine muscled back squirm under a whip. I admit, I giggle when a red mark shows up or the sound of fear and anticipation are expressed with a moan or whimper. Do they ask for it to stop? Never. A good dominant not only can control the whip but also measure when the sub has had enough. If they are in subspace, they can't know. They are too gone from reality to make that decision. So, be careful.

At Romanticon this year in Akron, Ohio I will be one of the presenters in a workshop "BDSM Top to Bottom".  I believe I will be doing a whip demo as the thrower. (Sascha Illyvich has asked me to bottom for his whip demo at this year's Dragoncon. I told him shoulders and back only...but he wanted ass. LOL) I am anxious for Dragoncon as I hear whipmaker Victor Tella will be there selling his whips. I heard so much about them, I want to see if one is right for me. Hopefully something purple and black...

I am working on my 1-800-DOM-help book presently, and yes, the Domme heroine in the story has a whip as her preferred toy. ;-)

To see a hot whipping and flogging video, check out this one on XHamster.  My absolute favorite. I love her attitude. (She's gorgeous too.) Although she focuses on his ass, if it was me, I'd include back and shoulders (careful of the kidney areas of course). ***Note this video is on a free adult video site. I'm not responsible for content. I've never had a problem with viruses in visiting this site.***

Marianne LaCroix
http://mariannelacroix.blogspot.com

Fetish Friday special guest: Sascha Illyvich

Yay, a visitor! For today's post I bring you a special guest, Sascha Illyvich. Sascha is one of those rare creatures, a dude who writes erotic romance. It's mostly kinky, because he rolls that way himself (if you follow him on Twitter, you know that already). He also hosts the Unnamed Romance Show on Radio Dentata, contributes to the WriteSex Panel blog, and teaches classes in writing erotica, and, and...oh, lots of other stuff. Go read the bio on his website! Let's get to the guest postin'. Take it away, Sascha!

In Romance Stories, Dominant Males are Alphas.

By Sascha Illyvich

In a discussion with publicist Sharon Aviles, we’d discussed my teaching romance authors how to write BDSM and incorporate the elements of the Lifestyle into their romance stories.  She’d said that the interesting thing was in traditional non kinky romances, we call Dominant males, Alphas. 

Sure they may not be kinky but both men have to take charge of situations.  Both men feel the need to control and the underlying reasons behind this need for control is generally the same.  A belief that his way can guide his heroine into safety feeds his need to be a leader.  I teach this often in my course on how to write from the male point of view.  It’s aimed at romance authors but the lessons still apply to a broader spectrum of fiction writers. 

Often times both men will be in powerful positions either as corporate CEOs or highly trained military experts, these men are used to getting their way. 

In the bedroom we see similarities too.  Whether he’s using ropes and handcuffs, spankings and scarves, or just good old fashion strength to make his point, he’s still on top.  His goal is pretty much the same, drag something from the woman that she wants to give but doesn’t know how.  She’s generally afraid to ask and that fear is often masked as stubbornness or anger.  Sometimes it’s blatant fear.

As a guide, the dominant male must guide the submissive on their journey towards inner peace, as the alpha male must show the reasons he's overprotective.   Bondage becomes a tool used to strip away control and bring out emotions needing to be dealt with while the Alpha male may use consensual force to do the same.  In effect, he's binding the heroine and making her choose another path, one that leads to growth, rather than stunted movement.  Different plot devices can show us these traits from both sides.  Using the react vs respond method of character development talked about on WriteSEX, we can get this accomplished as writers. 

His ability to see past her defenses as an alpha male or Dominant is what spurs him on to guiding her.  It’s not until he’s learned to grow through the plot that he realizes he’s guiding her as she’s guiding him, but that’s another article.  In the end, the two types of men are really one and the same.  Our labels are just for publisher and reader convenience as they help us define the characters for the appropriate markets.

Sascha Illyvich

Erotic Romance Author – http://saschaillyvichauthor.com
Fetishist – http://www.saschaillyvich.com
Radio Dentata - http://shows.radiodentata.com/shows/unnamed-romance-show/
Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/SaschaIllylvich
Erotic Expert – http://www.writesex.net