The Submissive Male -- Misunderstood

I have been reading quite a bit about the ongoing devaluation of the submissive male in society. The discussion goes something like this. Our culture views a male who gives up his power as pathetic, lacking strength, and an object of derision. And dominant women must really be women who have not found the correct male to whom to submit. There are manly Dom's who treat some of my fellow female dominants this way, continuing to view them as potential conquests. Because of this it may be more difficult for submissive men to be in mixed public play environments with some male dominants making the above judgements of them. Although I am sure there are plenty of submissive men secure enough in their desires and strengths to not give a shit. Still. It is why an exclusively FemDom club or party is a valuable resource.

I have been following an interesting series of interviews of submissive males by a blogging Domme (Dishevelled Domina,) including the latest entry by Tom Allen who does the blog The Edge of Vanilla. (I also highly recommend his blog.)

I find his answers fascinating and urge you to read the interview. And for good measure, visit Maymay's Male Submission Art blog, his on-going effort to explore the strength and beauty in male submission and challenge these stereotypes.

I know I've written about this topic before, but it is near and dear to me. And for those who write and read BDSM which includes that alluring alpha submissive man, I think the topic is point on.

Safe, sane and consensual,

Michelle

Lock up that cock

I'm at work on my 1-800-DOM-help novella which I call Leather Becomes Her. I hope to get it done in the next few weeks. It was a slow start but I have been writing up a storm for the past few days. I'm in a groove with it.

In the synopsis of the story there is a BDSM device used which is sort of pivotal to the story: a Gates of Hell. Actually it is much more specific, a locking Gates of Hell. I was told by a Domme friend there was no such thing. Oh I beg to differ. Below is a 5 Gates of Hell. Pretty basic in structure...not locking. Gates of hell can also have rubber rings or leather straps and can vary in the number of gates from 3 to 7. Personally I think the funniest part is the D ring for a leash attachment. Heh.

Now take a look at a locking Gates of Hell: 

Pretty intimidating isn't it? And you thought the regular one looked uncomfortable. This one can be worn for hours...days. This is the locking Gates of Hell...the kind I am using in my current 1-800-DOM-help novella. Intrigued? LOL

What is a Gates of Hell used for? Well obviously it is a chastity device. Use can range for a session to hours to days. Chastity is a powerful tool in controlling a submissive man. Tease him, he gets hard but can't obtain a full erection while wearing the device. Try torturing him for a while and see how submissive he can become. Some Dommes use chastity like this to make sure their subs don't do any self pleasuring without permission. (All about control!) Can you imagine a house slave boy naked except for this while cleaning your bathroom? (Damn, I wish!)

Do submissive men want this contraption on their cock? Yeah, a lot of them do. Believe it. They love the idea of their cock owned by a Mistress. Only she can release him. Only she holds the key. Very much a power play here. For a true submissive man the humiliation alone is a huge turn on. He's slapped into a Gates of Hell as soon as he walks into his Mistress's presence, wondering if he will be released once she is through using him as her toy. Wouldn't it be a pity if he was used, all excited and wanting to come and then denied release from the Gates? (hahahaha)

No, I do not own a locking Gates of Hell. It is for the book, people. It is a big reason why I am liking writing BDSM anymore, I can use a piece of equipment like this to enhance the story and intensity of emotions between the hero and heroine. Besides, it makes me laugh as I write. Yes, I do have a sadistic streak.


Marianne LaCroix
www.mariannelacroix.com
http://mariannelacroix.blogspot.com

*This post appeared originally on my blog.

Whip it good.

I love the whip. I recently acquired a 4 foot black leather whip made by Axel of Whips by Axel. I just loooove it. I bought it right from the whipmaker's hand at a demo on whips. I was interested when I went to the demo but fell in love once I got my hands on one.

What is it about the whip that is so alluring? It looks so simple by itself, but once you start using one, you realize how the power of pain can be harnessed in a change of pressure behind each throw.

There are different kinds of whips like the bull whip (like Indiana Jones used), the quirt (a type of whip with a forked "dragon tongue" on the end), and everything in between.

Generally for indoor BDSM play, the single tail whip is a popular choice. It is suggested the length be controllable at about 4 feet. I have seen 3 foot single tails, but it takes more experience to throw properly. Control is key.

The basic throw is really quite controlled and depending on the pressure, it can range from a light tap to a very painful sting. Imagine casting a fishing line out into a lake. If you want to go further, you throw harder, closer is gentle. Same thing.

Note the picture of the single tail whip. The whip is made of leather plaited tightly by a master craftsman. The end is made of plaited nylon. The nylon is the portion which comes in contact with the skin. No, not the leather part, the nylon. Never drag the whip on the ground and then use on someone's skin! The nylon can be cleaned with some alcohol to keep sanitary, especially if used on more than one partner. And a whip shouldn't be passed between people for use. A whip is like the individual. If you loan it to a friend and get it back, you may end up feeling a change in the way it throws. It is suggested by Axel to never loan out the whip. It gets used to the owner's hold and style.

Yes, there are masochists who want to be whipped. They like the pain. They welcome it. Good thing when there are sadists like me who enjoy watching a fine muscled back squirm under a whip. I admit, I giggle when a red mark shows up or the sound of fear and anticipation are expressed with a moan or whimper. Do they ask for it to stop? Never. A good dominant not only can control the whip but also measure when the sub has had enough. If they are in subspace, they can't know. They are too gone from reality to make that decision. So, be careful.

At Romanticon this year in Akron, Ohio I will be one of the presenters in a workshop "BDSM Top to Bottom".  I believe I will be doing a whip demo as the thrower. (Sascha Illyvich has asked me to bottom for his whip demo at this year's Dragoncon. I told him shoulders and back only...but he wanted ass. LOL) I am anxious for Dragoncon as I hear whipmaker Victor Tella will be there selling his whips. I heard so much about them, I want to see if one is right for me. Hopefully something purple and black...

I am working on my 1-800-DOM-help book presently, and yes, the Domme heroine in the story has a whip as her preferred toy. ;-)

To see a hot whipping and flogging video, check out this one on XHamster.  My absolute favorite. I love her attitude. (She's gorgeous too.) Although she focuses on his ass, if it was me, I'd include back and shoulders (careful of the kidney areas of course). ***Note this video is on a free adult video site. I'm not responsible for content. I've never had a problem with viruses in visiting this site.***

Marianne LaCroix
http://mariannelacroix.blogspot.com

New member intro: Marianne LaCroix

Hello readers! I am new to the group so I thought I would use my first post as a brief intro. I am Marianne LaCroix and I've been published in erotic romance since 2003 with my first book Lady Sheba. Even then my writing had a definite D/s theme, even though much more tame at the time. Since then I have ventured deeper into writing several very dominant heroes like Captain Fredrick in Crossed  Swords or Mr. Robertson in Rosy Cheeks. I really like writing manly heroes who can tame the heroine, but at the same time, they are also molded into a true hero.

Oddly enough, I personally prefer to be the one who calls the shots. I am letting that FemDom side of me come out more in my 1-800-DOM-help novella as well as another pirate novel I am writing for Ellora's Cave. I won't give too many details, saying I am writing more FemDom says enough.

My website is currently down and I am rebuilding as the database was wiped out. I have a new blog on Blogger. Come on over and "follow" me. You can also find me on FaceBook [profile | fanpage] and Twitter and Fetlife.

And finally, it is my opinion there is nothing sexier a man can say than, "Yes, Mistress." ;)

And for a laugh....