I posted on my Naughty Author Chicks blog last week about my impending trip to Romanticon, the Ellora's Cave readers and authors convention happening September 29th through October 2nd in Akron, Ohio. I blathered on about my promotional items, my costumes for the several kick-ass parties with the EC Cavemen, and my participation in the 1-800-DOM-help author-hosted seminar there entitled BDSM from Top to Bottom.Wednesday, September 14, 2011
ROMANTICON Here I Come!
I posted on my Naughty Author Chicks blog last week about my impending trip to Romanticon, the Ellora's Cave readers and authors convention happening September 29th through October 2nd in Akron, Ohio. I blathered on about my promotional items, my costumes for the several kick-ass parties with the EC Cavemen, and my participation in the 1-800-DOM-help author-hosted seminar there entitled BDSM from Top to Bottom.Thursday, July 7, 2011
Flogging 101- a primer for subs and Doms/Dommes
Flogging and other type of contact punishment can be very enjoyable for both the sub and the Dom/Domme but if you;ve never tried it before there are some things you need to know. Here's what I found during my research:
First: Terminology
Snappy" : Like that of a small belt. Snappy is used to describe a small sharp sensation.
"Strappy" : Like that of a medium belt. used to describe a larger, less sharp sensation.
"Thuddy" or “Punchy” : A heavier feeling, usually combined with a "slappy" or "snappy" feel. Can cause people to move due to the weight of the blow.
"Stinging" : Like the feel of being snapped by a rubber band to varying degrees depending on how it is used.
"Tingling" : After the initial slap it leaves a nice warm tingle that grows and spreads. Usually associated with textured surface paddles.
"Slapping" : Like the slap of a hand, (but limited to the area covered by the device) .
"Whacking" : The feeling of a broad area being struck at once. Much like a spanking, usually a feeling derived from paddles, or whips with larger tails.
"Cutting" : The feeling of a narrow area being struck hard (or multiple areas simultaneously). Similar to snappy but much, much, more intense, can raise weal's, and can feel that the skin has been cut.
(Don't be afraid to try something that sounds fun too!)
Some things for the dominant to consider when purchasing a sensation or punishment toy is how it will be used, how experienced a user you are, how experienced your sub is, and what types of sensations they like or are willing to submit to.
While some may enjoy a whack from a paddle, a sharp snap from a rubber whip might not be their thing. That's not to say you can't try to work towards a mutual agreement towards each others desires and a little training to get your sub to enjoy playing with a toy they never thought they'd like. Also, a toy that has the sub in fear every time it is brought out could be a good method of punishment, as it would hardly need to be used at all to achieve the desired effect on the behavior of the sub.
A few pointers on using your new toy:
For best results, try using your new whip on a pillow to practice your aim. To determine feel, use it on the more sensitive inside portion of your arm, or swing it over your shoulder so that it lands on your back. Start gently and gradually increase the strength of the blows. Paddles and crops can be used on your open hand, slapped against your leg, or on your own bum. It is important that you know and understand the feelings that the toy will provide for your sub, so that you can get the strength and duration of use right.
There are always areas to avoid when using a whip (or any other impact sensation device). These include the neck, face and avoid any hits to the lower portions of the back and sides where the kidneys are located. It does not take a hard hit with a whip to do damage, as the tails will whip round the body and speed up as they do, thus increasing the strength of the blow at the tips considerably.
The best places are usually the shoulders and upper back , the butt (especially the fleshy portion where the bottom meets the back of the thigh), the backs of the thighs, and breast area. Palms of the hands, and the soles of the feet are also possible, but are far more difficult to get right due to the small target area and the risk of the whip wrapping round and causing raw pain. Favorites vary among individuals, but the breasts and pubic areas can also be fun but more care is required, especially if the areas are pierced.
Most importantly, if it's something you've never used before, or an area that you have not struck before, make sure to be careful, take it slow and discuss the types of things you both find exciting and pleasurable, both during and after play. It's always a good idea to take some pointers from those who know how to use the toy of your choice.
It may seem silly, but it's good to practice on a pillow. Concentrate on your aim and control by trying to hit the same spot over and over. If it's a feather pillow, concentrate on your control by not making too much of an indentation in the pillow, and once you have mastered that, try moving around while continuing to use the toy. Very few people will stay still while playing (both doms and subs).
So, find the toy that suits you and your sub, be sure to practice, and above all…enjoy.
Be sure to stop by my blog www.desireeholttellsall.com and my web site www.desiree.com
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Subspace has nothing to do with a submarine
For
some, it’s the sensation of being out of the body and away from the
events that are going on. This detachment from the body causes the
slave to be able to ‘take’ more pain and more verbal attacks from a
Dominant, often also resulting in the slave complying with every
wish without hesitation or without any resistance. The slave is
sort of a ‘super slave’ at this point – able to do everything that
their Dominant wishes of them.Tuesday, April 12, 2011
New member intro: Marianne LaCroix
Oddly enough, I personally prefer to be the one who calls the shots. I am letting that FemDom side of me come out more in my 1-800-DOM-help novella as well as another pirate novel I am writing for Ellora's Cave. I won't give too many details, saying I am writing more FemDom says enough.
My website is currently down and I am rebuilding as the database was wiped out. I have a new blog on Blogger. Come on over and "follow" me. You can also find me on FaceBook [profile | fanpage] and Twitter and Fetlife.
And finally, it is my opinion there is nothing sexier a man can say than, "Yes, Mistress." ;)
And for a laugh....
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Is it lunch or munch? or both?
Two years ago as I was immersing myself in BDSM research I discovered a neat social activity–a munch. What, you might say, is a munch? I have since discovered that a lot of people (including one final line editor) thought I meant lunch. Nope. Uh uh./ This is a great social activity, an informal gathering of people who have a common interest in BDSM. They are usually held in restaurants, in a special or private room so privacy is protected. They are usually informal affairs, with a loose structure, and are publicized online so people can find them.
Want to dip your toes into the BDSM waters? This might be a good place to start.
Munches were started in the early 1990s by people interested in the life who were online (this was before the Internet went viral). As the Internet grew in popularity the idea caught on and gatherings began to be organized at cities all across the country. And they continue to expand.
People who attend munches are usually intelligent, imaginative and very individualistic. It’s their interest in BDSM that draws them together. Some munches are arranged for people with specific interests or fetishes. Others can be for specific age groups. Or they can be just an all-out gathering. There is always a designated host who controls and arranges the event. If this is your first time and there are specific protocols to follow, someone will greet you as a newbie and make sure you understand.
What should you wear? Not something highly informal if you want to make a good first impression, but nice casual clothing works. Also all black. Dressing in fetish clothing may not be appropriate unless you’ve been told otherwise. On the other hand, don't be too surprised if you see people wearing items of black leather clothing or footwear, and please try to not look too shocked if you see someone happily eating and chatting away while wearing a collar of leather or steel locked around their neck.
Some people use special names for when they are in the scene. Many use scene-related jargon to let others now what their special interests are.
One last ting to remember. Be aware that the privacy of attendees is always protected. People who come to munches are interacting in a highly personal aspect of their lives. Because protecting the privacy of attendees is so important, it can be discourteous to ask someone direct, specific questions about what they do for a living, what company they work for, details about where they live, if they're in a committed relationship, and so forth. It's fine if they volunteer such information. The rule: when in doubt keep your mouth shut!!!! Violating the confidentiality rule can get you shunned and banned.
So, if you’ve had a craving to check out the scene and want a social environment in which to do it, just Google munches in your area and enjoy!
Be sure to check out all the 1-800-DOMHelp stories, and come visit me at www.desireeholt.com
Monday, March 7, 2011
Curiosity can be a great thing
When I first began writing about BDSM I had an almost insatiable curiosity about the lifestyle, the people involved in it and how it offered a new level of sexual satisfaction. I discovered two things: more people are involved in the life than I imagined and it is far more complex than I could have even anticipated. But the more I studied it, the more absorbed in it I became. I also discovered that the key to it all is a level of trust very often missing from other relationships – a trust that really deepens the relationship.
Recently I had several online conversations with some couples involved in one form of BDSM known as the master/slave relationship. This a form of total power exchange, because one person gives another ultimate authority over them. And that certainly requires a deep level of trust. The Dominant is either Master (male) or Mistress (female).
In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.
For some the relationship is sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle. The difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission, but many see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.
In some instances people celebrate the commitment to the relationship with a collaring ceremony, which can be simple or elaborate and friends are usually invited. The collar can be anything from a necklace to a bracelet or other piece of symbolic jewelry. These are generally not removed unless or until the relationship is dissolved.
The one thing everyone I spoke to was emphatic about was the level of trust in the relationship and incredible sense of satisfaction it gave them. I want to thank everyone (nameless, of course) who shared information with me. And you can be sure that this will be a major part of the plot in an upcoming story.
Meanwhile please check out my books at www.desireeholt.com
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Fettered Love - The Preview
Safe, sane and consensual,
Michelle
Thursday, January 27, 2011
She asked him, "Can you delight me?"

That's what Dani Maguire wanted to know from her first sub when she realized she needed to switch roles in her D/s lifestyle.
Excerpt:
“Your orders, please?”
A waitress in a very short, sheer dress with a neckline that exposed almost every bit of her breasts had appeared beside them.
“Ice water,” Dani told her. All of her Masters had drilled into her the necessity of abstaining from alcohol before play. Nothing could be allowed to cloud judgment and create problems.
The others ordered the same. Ethan leaned back and let his GAZE roam her body, almost daring her to object. Then, as if having accomplished his purpose, he lowered his gaze.
The ice water was delivered and Dani sipped hers slowly slowly took in every inch ofthe man sitting beside her. Her gaze focused on Ethan’s full, sensuous lips. Beautiful lips. She could just imagine them closing around her nipple, his hands restrained behind him. Unable to stimulate her with anything but the beautiful mouth. Or perhaps on his knees before her, those same full lips enclosing her clit, his tongue lapping the length of her wet flesh and thrusting inside her at her command.
Under the guise of easy conversation G asked Dani many questions, probing for her true knowledge of D/s rules. Ethan spoke only when he was addressed directly, as befitted a trained sub. Although his expression was arranged in what she assumed was meant to be an expression of subservience and humility, Dani felt his eyes again caressing every inch of her. There was enough iron strength beneath the submissive nature to make him very interesting. She shivered and moisture flooded her cunt. Oh, yes, Ethan Corelli would do very nicely.
“I want to ensure,” G said, “that Ethan is the perfect sub for this evening. He’s been trained by the best and carries no baggage with him. Nothing that would interfere with our activities.”
“That’s good to know,” Dani said. She certainly didn’t want to start out with someone carrying baggage from previous relationships.
“Permission to speak, Mistress?” Ethan asked.
She nodded. “Of course.”
“Mistress G told me you’ve been a submissive for some time now.” His deep voice stroked over her.
“Yes.” She cleared her throat, aware that G was carefully watching the interplay between them. “I’ve had a number of successful relationships.”
A smile played over his lips. “Would I be out of line if I asked what made you want to change roles?” She knew that was a bold question for a sub to ask but she chose to answer him. He of all people had the right to know.
“Not at all.” She took a sip of her drink. “For some time I’ve been convinced I wanted much more out of my relationships. Something that gave me deeper satisfaction. I wanted to be the one in control, managing the pleasure for both myself and my partners. When I began to resent the dominance of my last partner I knew it was time to explore this other side of myself.” She studied his face, saw the question barely concealed in his eyes. “I know all the rules, Ethan. I have a good reputation in the community. You can trust me. I want you to believe I will never betray that trust in any way.”
The hazel eyes darkened to a soft gray. “Then I will do my best to make the evening a fulfilling one for you.” He lifted his glass to her in the sign of a toast.
Buy it here: http://www.jasminejade.com/p-8951-delight-me.aspx
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Wednesday Whips: Motivated by My New Cover!
Kirk, Master to his long-time lover Evan, decides it's time to place his permanent collar around Evan's sexy cock. But when he proposes he faces a surprise. Evan wants a child. So where will they find a kinky woman to help?
A mysterious card with the 1-800-DOM-help number advertises assistance for unusual problems in the BDSM community. When Evan calls he recognizes the voice of the Mistress from their past. Sarah--Kirk's best friend from childhood--Evan's Mistress of several years in college. They loved her and suffered betrayal when she walked out of their lives.
Now she proposes to be the mother of their child. No strings, just a chance to have the men she respected and loved back in her life. Evan embraces the idea while Kirk rages with mistrust.
At Evan's request they share one night of passion, Kirk and Sarah working together to dominate Evan in the scene of his erotic fantasies. But will it be enough to rekindle trust and make all their dreams come true?
So if you pick it up, please tell me what you think. It's the first contemporary I've written. Although I find real life, no matter how mundane, always contains just a lick of magic. *wink*
Safe, sane and consensual
Michelle
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Shy Girls’ Guide to Finding Your Fetish
If you’re a bookworm, she says, you’re already ahead of the game. Just spice up your library with…well, spicy books. Read the stories. Look for what turns you on. Go ahead. You’re in your room by yourself so anything goes.
The next thing is to find a partner to try out your fetish with. Got a significant other you’ve been dying to make suggestions to? Your husband too predictable in bed and you want to shake him up? Gone to a munch where you met a guy you’d just love to tell about your fetish?
All good, as long as your partner is someone you trust.
Into bondage? Really, really think you’d like to give it a try? Enroll in a beginner’s class given by someone with good credentials. Again, the important words are safe and trust.
Want to just try a few things in the privacy of your own room? Check out the closest adult pleasure store. Trust me, no one will even pay attention to you browsing all the interesting items on display. They’re all busy studying what they want!!! Pick out what you like and take it home with you. Then it’s a matter of seeing what gives you the biggest sexual high, whether it’s stroking yourself with fur or using a toy you’ve never tried before.
But when making fantasy a reality, there are a few key rules, especially if you’re trying out your ideas with a partner. Don't be drunk, high or without a safe word. Your physical and mental health are at stake -- fetish acts can bring many underlying issues to the surface -- and you don't want that bottle of wine to mask any danger.
But the door to erotic enchantment is wide open to you. Go ahead. Open it. You’ll love what’s on the other side.
Come visit me at www.desireeholt.com
And check out all the books in the 1-800-DOMHelp series. You can find them at Ellora's Cave www.jasminejade.com
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Happy Birthday to Me! Contest & Control issues
To celebrate, I'm going to give some presents away to a reader who comments on my blog post. The winning reader will win the combo-pack pictured to the left: a pocket Kama Sutra, a cherry Lollicock, and a print copy of my medieval erotic romance, Seeking Truth. I chose Seeking Truth, because there are some light BDSM elements within the story, so it fit with our theme here. To be included in the contest, post your comment by by 7 a.m. CST on October 21. I'll announce the winner on October 21 around noon CST. I'm also running a contest to celebrate my birthday at Authors by Moonlight - different prize there. So get in the running twice!
Now, lets talk bondage and control. Why do I like to write BDSM? Because restraint is just plain hot. When I first found Ellora's Cave back in the early years of the company (somewhere around 2002/2003) some of the first stories I read involved bondage. The idea of giving away your power by trusting another person to bind you really floated my boat as a reader. It was exciting and naughty all at once. Once I started writing erotic romance, BDSM was always in the back of my mind as an area I wanted to explore. I just had to work out what attracted me so much so I could create believable characters and situations for them to master.
As Michelle discussed in her post, the dynamics of BDSM encompass a power exchange. The bottom submits, giving up control to a top who runs the scene. One of the most basic and straightforward ways to take control and submit to the control of another is by being bound. Once you're tied up you just have to lay there and take it...right?
So...the one tied up is submitting and the one doing the tying is dominating. But who is really in control? If the bottom says their safeword, play is done. And that's the way it should be, so that makes the power exchange a really fine line for both the dominant and submissive to
negotiate. It's the tension inherent in the power exchange that intrigues me and a major reason I love to read and to write BDSM stories.So far, my dominants are male and my submissives are female, but at some point I'll change that up. My heroes tend to be warriors and protectors, so they play by the rule of safe, sane and consensual, even if they don't know that's how they roll. My medieval hero, Eaduin Kempe won't take any woman to his bed if she refuses to consent. For a medieval Baron, that's unusual. Barons could take what they wanted from whoever they wanted (shy of the King), particularly in the 1100s. But my knight lives and breathes chivalry. Even so, he still gets off on topping my heroine, Vérité. The good part is she enjoys what he dishes out and she consents to being bound and blindfolded. Spanked. And she'd go for pretty much anything else he'd like to suggest, too. As I said, this story is primarily BDSM elements - not a full-on lifestyle story - but if anyone could carry off the lifestyle, Eaduin could. Can ya tell I kind of love the guy? grin
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
1-800-WHO?????
A help line for Doms? You're kidding, right? Well...not exactly.
As writers we spend a lot of time in the "what if" world. Because of that, when one of our number came across a similar phone number to the one this blog is based on, her first thought was:
What if this were a real number?
She tossed that out to the Ellora’s Cave Authors loop. From the discussion generated there based on:
• What if a Dom/me has a sub that he/she is reaching, but not on the level he really wants to?
• What if a sub wants more of a connection with his Dom/me but doesn't know how to tell him/her?
Well...what if...A mysterious club called Unfettered, staffed by a club manager named Dru, a doorman named Hayden, and two bartenders was the answer to your questions?
What is your entree into this club? A business card. You call that number and you will get an answer to your "what if."
That's what Harte Donovan does. He's a cop. Straight-laced and deep in the closet. During the course of his investigation into a murder, he meets flamboyant out-to-everyone submissive Ramey Nichols. What's a Dom to do when he meets the perfect sub? Take over, of course!Harte will discover a side of himself he knew existed but that he'd never really explored. Ramey will discover the bliss of finding the perfect Master. Readers will discover a whole new world in the 1-800-DOM-help series.
BLURB: Harte Donovan has a problem. A murder leads to him wanting a sexy stripper bound and naked in front of him. He can’t let his secret desires ruin his career as a detective. But when he’s given a mysterious business card, Harte discovers a side of himself he intends to fully embrace.
Ramey Nichols strips for a living and he’s not willing to pretend to be something he’s not. When this sexy submissive meets the closeted cop and unwitting Dom, something has got to give. That something might just be Ramey. Ramey knows what he wants, and more than that, finds himself Needing Harte.
Something to whet your appetite:
“There’s a selection of paddles on the wall over there. Go pick one and bring it back to me.”
With a nod of his head, Ramey started toward the wall on his knees. “On your feet, I want to watch that ass.”
“Yes Sir.” With a smile he couldn’t hide, Ramey got to his feet and walked slowly toward the wall, looking at his choices as he went. Paddles of every shape and size hung on pegs on the wall. Some were fur-lined, some had blunted spikes, some were made of wood, some of plastic.
Taking one off the wall, Ramey tested it against his upper thigh, slapping it hard but not as hard as he thought Harte would. The sting caused him to draw in a deep breath and, pleased with his choice, he turned to face his Master.
That particular thought stopped him in his tracks even as he devoured the sight of the sexy man reclining on the bed. Harte’s blond hair gleamed, his eyes were bright and a smile rested on those harsh features, making him look younger. Knowing he could easily commit to this man without ever even having sex with him caused Ramey’s feet to move forward. He reached Harte and knelt, presenting the paddle he’d chosen across both open palms and bowing his head.
Harte took the paddle from him as he sat up. “Up here. Put that sexy body right here. Wait. Lose the G-string. I want to see that cock.”
Slipping the G-string off, Ramey felt his dick bounce. He barely resisted stroking himself as he looked at Harte’s face. Harte’s eyes had narrowed a little and his mouth opened as he licked his lips. Harte reached forward and cupped Ramey’s balls, squeezing them once, then again before releasing them to stroke Ramey’s prick. “No hair, huh? I figured as much when I saw you onstage, but wasn’t positive.”
“Hairless works better under costumes, Sir.”
“Hmmm….Now, across my legs, sub. Five swats to start and we’ll see where we are.”
You can read a longer excerpt here. Want to cut to the chase and just buy the book? Go here.
Books in this series include something with a little foreplay from Ari Thatcher, Commanding Acquisitions from Christine d’Abo, something desirable from Desiree Holt, something with dangerous curves from Francesca Hawley and something to scorch your soul from Michelle Polaris.
Subscribe/follow this blog so you don't miss out on any of the fun.
To be entered to win a totebag full of Romanticon goodies, leave a comment telling why you would or would not call 1-800-DOM-help. Winner will be announced October 15th.



