Spanking implements: The Basics

by Marianne LaCroix

I went to my first local BDSM community meeting this week to watch a whip demo by a whip maker and master. I never realized there were so many people in the area who were into the lifestyle. I mingled and met all kinds of new people who were serious about their kinky passions. It was awesome.

In thinking about my blog post today, I searched for a picture to put up of a whip. Did you know floggers and crops all come up in that search? Why? They are definitely different implements. Ah, but they are all used for a similar purpose--spanking. Yep, they are all types of spanking implements.

Why in the world would anyone want to be spanked as an adult? Well, it is a form of erotic foreplay in the leather world. There's erotic roleplay (like the schoolgirl fantasy I wrote about in Rosy Cheeks), domestic discipline (punishment from a HOH--head of household), and everything in between like spanking fetishists. The spanking is between consenting adults where a dominant spanks his or her submissive partner. Usually for the "spankee", the spanking is cathartic and/or the pain jump starts their arousal. (Pain is very close to pleasure.) After all, a red bottom gets the blood flowing to that portion of the body, thus enhancing sexual sensitivity. Keep in mind there are those people who crave the spanking without the sexual contact. They crave the endorphin rush, plain and simple.

So there are all kinds of ways to spank a nice bottom offered up to the dominant. (And spankees like a good spanking...they crave it.) What would a dominant use? A bare hand is always handy. (Pun intended. What, did you moan?) A hair brush is good if it is a nice wood one. A wood paddle (with or without holes like the one to the right). And then there are floggers, whips, riding crops, and canes.

All implements, including the hand, need some practice before using on a partner, no matter how willing they may be. Without practice, someone can get hurt.

And as for the whip demo... I got a single tail black leather whip (below).

You can bet my 1-800-DOM-help book will have a whip wielding FemDomme....

Taking Care of a Top

Most (good) BDSM erotic romance stories make a point of showing how the Dom(me)s care for their submissives after their erotic scenes. This means both physical and emotional care. A Dominant checks for bodily harm, cleans her partner, rubs in needed ointments, makes sure he is hydrated, fed, snuggled and coddled if need be. A sub needs support, nuturing and affection after their endorphins have been flying and they've just experienced a highly dependent state. This is crucial because emotional "aftershocks" can happen following play scenes.

But what we don't read about as often is the existence of emotional aftershocks for the Doms or Tops. They exist. Tops have limits, too. And sometimes what they do in a scene, even if it has been mutually agreed upon by all participants and brings pleasure and satisfaction, causes doubts and questions to arise. Tops may experience guilt, shame and horror over being so turned on by their darker actions. And so the term "top drop" has been coined to refer to that time, maybe minutes, maybe a few days, after a scene when a Dominant may feel depressed or inadequate, full of self-doubt or questioning their sanity. Was the sub really turned on or just faking it to be nice?

Let's not forget that the rush of endorphins happen for the Top as well. The intensity of a scene, the experience of falling into such a complete role, and being closely in tune with the submissive's emotional roller coaster ride, does a number on a Dominant's own chemicals. That is why the power of a BDSM scene is amazing, because of the connection it can foster. Yet this means a Dom is vulnerable to the same post-endorphin drop as a submissive.

It's crucial that a Top reach out for support as well. They can reach out to the bottom with whom they played or just to good friends in the BDSM community. Tops deserve the same support as bottoms. Crafting a healthy scene comes with a lot of responsibility and burden. It can be exhausting at times. And we don't want to burn out good Dominants. Think of all of the fun the subbies will be missing.

Safe, sane and consensual,
Michelle