I went to my first local BDSM community meeting this week to watch a whip demo by a whip maker and master. I never realized there were so many people in the area who were into the lifestyle. I mingled and met all kinds of new people who were serious about their kinky passions. It was awesome.
In thinking about my blog post today, I searched for a picture to put up of a whip. Did you know floggers and crops all come up in that search? Why? They are definitely different implements. Ah, but they are all used for a similar purpose--spanking. Yep, they are all types of spanking implements.
Why in the world would anyone want to be spanked as an adult? Well, it is a form of erotic foreplay in the leather world. There's erotic roleplay (like the schoolgirl fantasy I wrote about in Rosy Cheeks), domestic discipline (punishment from a HOH--head of household), and everything in between like spanking fetishists. The spanking is between consenting adults where a dominant spanks his or her submissive partner. Usually for the "spankee", the spanking is cathartic and/or the pain jump starts their arousal. (Pain is very close to pleasure.) After all, a red bottom gets the blood flowing to that portion of the body, thus enhancing sexual sensitivity. Keep in mind there are those people who crave the spanking without the sexual contact. They crave the endorphin rush, plain and simple.
So there are all kinds of ways to spank a nice bottom offered up to the dominant. (And spankees like a good spanking...they crave it.) What would a dominant use? A bare hand is always handy. (Pun intended. What, did you moan?) A hair brush is good if it is a nice wood one. A wood paddle (with or without holes like the one to the right). And then there are floggers, whips, riding crops, and canes.
All implements, including the hand, need some practice before using on a partner, no matter how willing they may be. Without practice, someone can get hurt.
And as for the whip demo... I got a single tail black leather whip (below).
You can bet my 1-800-DOM-help book will have a whip wielding FemDomme....
With talk of fetishes comes talk of objects, and while your fetish may be for some commonplace item that doesn’t require hiding, you can probably still appreciate the fear of something like this happening:
Oh, toys. Toys, toys, toys! They are so much fun, and I have spent way too much money on them in the past few years (research, of course!). But once you start adding several different types of toy, multiple flavors of lube, and big coils of rope to the mix, things get a little hard to store. Whether it’s latex garb, whips-n-cuffs, your favorite dildo or that costly e-stim kit, it all takes up space and most of us do not have the luxury of dedicated secure playrooms in our homes. We need storage that gets our sexytime accessories out of the way in a discreet, convenient way so that it is accessible to us but hidden from view - and specifically, for some of us, hidden from the children. Because if there’s one thing I do not want, it’s my six-year-old locating a few of my favorite things and asking me to explain them. Or a relative mistaking any of them for a flashlight if the lights go out at a dinner party. And then asking me to explain them.
Contents: Classified
So I have come up with some practical solutions. A very boring “decorative” miniature wooden trunk that sits on my dresser, filled with little silk bags and other wrappings I’ve acquired to keep all my precious investments safe from dust and the casual glance. It even has a cute little hasp so I can lock it if I feel the need. Oh, and there’s also a box of rope lengths, hiding in plain sight in my closet among the boots (what…doesn’t everybody keep 100-plus feet of nicely conditioned hemp rope in the master bedroom closet?).
One of these things is not like the others
But there is also my fantasy set of potential solutions, the ones I would adopt if my budget were just a wee bit larger. And it is these solutions I want to discuss today. Solutions that were designed specifically for this purpose.
As you probably know if you have any number of sex-related toys at all, there are some concerns with storing this kind of gear. The environment must be clean, dry and lint-free. Washability is a big plus, cleanability is a must. And ideally each toy must have its own compartment or wrapper - in particular, silicon toys must not be stored in contact with other silicon toys or substances, or the toys can “melt” or degrade. This is not only an aesthetic concern but a safety issue as well, so it is very important to be able to sequester each toy in whatever storage arrangement you use. And it’s nice to have room for toys plus lube, cleaners, and all the other accessories you may have accumulated, so it’s all in one handy place.
Tunti Illuminating Budoir Toybox
If money isn’t an object, there are some great hard-sided lockable cases on the market with adjustable compartments, designed specifically for sex toys. The Tunti Illuminating Budoir Toyboxis a nice example. A case like this is discreet - it looks like a camera case or similar - and allows you to store a wide variety of toys in clean, adjustable compartments. It has a shield to protect (potentially) wet contents like lube from spilling on other contents. Tunti’s box is also illuminated when open, a very nice touch for when you’re working in low-light environments. No fear of grabbing the wrong flogger if you’re storing the playthings in one of these!
Not flashy, but functional & cost-effective
If your needs aren’t quite as extensive, however, there are also a lot of smaller lockable cases out there with varying degrees of adjustability; check out Fruits of Eden for some nice cases in various colors at many different price points. Or go hunting for a hard-sided camera case with adaptable foam dividers.
Sneaky! I like it!
If locking isn’t as great a concern as hiding, and portability isn't an issue, one of the most clever ideas out there for a reasonably low cost is the Sneaky Sack. This bag is sneaky indeed - you hang it on a clothes hanger and then hang a shirt or jacket over it, hiding it effectively from all but the most sophisticated seekers. The Sneaky Sack has three large pockets but no other internal compartments, so you may still need to consider some individual bags to separate and organize your toys inside it. Sugar Saks are simple, attractive and pre-treated with an antimicrobial process. Zomi bags (by the Liberator company, about which I hope to blog at length another day) are sturdy, waterproof, zippered and available in a wide variety of colors. These are also great options for travel, or for storing things in a dresser or nightstand drawer.
If you’re looking for a more budget-friendly way to separate individual toys, of course, you can easily find small zippered makeup bags or - my personal favorite - drawstringfabricgift bags. If you opt for an organza or mesh style, do try to find bags with a fairly tightly woven mesh, nothing that might allow silicon objects to melt each other if the bags are adjacent.
For some, of course, inquisitive little kid fingers and eyes aren’t the big concern for toy storage - it’s a question of general discretion, not the threat of active prying. Sportsheets (another company that is a blog topic unto itself!) still makes their Hide Your Vibe pillow, which may not hold your entire toy kit but can let you keep a few high-priority items close at hand. One downside to this pillow is that the color choices are limited - and not subtle. You will likely need to find another cover if you want to match your decor, unless your decor involves animal prints or the color pink.
Not that roomy, but damn it's classy
A fairly new product that is possibly the classiest, most discreet thing I’ve ever seen in the way of sex toy storage is the Toitissue, a sleek wooden box with an inch of camouflaging facial tissue storage in the top and a secret sliding drawer beneath for your toys. Or your stash. Or your cashmere sock full of money. It even has a secret lock! There’s also the standard Toibocks, the company’s original toy storage product, which masquerades as a jewelry box; however, the illusion is not quite as strong as with the tissue dispenser.
I’m sure there are other marvelous options out there, and I would love to hear about them! How do you keep your private playthings private?
When I'm not writing, I work as a librarian. For me, research is as natural as breathing. I attended RT (the Romantic Times Convention) this past April and I had the opportunity to hit two adult/fetish stores in Columbus, Ohio - The Garden and The Chamber. While my companions reviewed some of the leather goods and glass dildos, I was pouring over the books. In fact, at The Chamber alone, I spent about $300 books on research books. (Hmmm - Del - does that mean I have a fetish? grin).
I bought The Topping Book. The Bottoming Book. And a whole lot of other books on BDSM. Books that aren't typically on the shelves at Barnes and Noble or Borders. When I was working on my contribution to the 1-800-DOM-help series, I needed to find books about rope bondage. I don't have any direct experience with rope bondage (except for finding it very hot), so I went to my trusty local adult emporium, Christal's in West Des Moines, Iowa. I love this place, and I knew I'd seen rope bondage books there. I was right.
I picked up some excellent items while I was shopping:
The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori (photographed by Craig Morey) is truly awesome. The book is published by Greenery Press which bills itself as "reading for the sexually adventurous."
The photography is beautiful. Very evocative and sensual. The description of the bondage techniques are pretty clear. I think if you were a complete novice, it would help to see the techniques via video rather than in a book, but this book really does a good job of getting the concepts across.
The first thing I used to get a "feel" for rope bondage was a video called How to Perform Rope Bondage produced by the Educational Sex Series. This movie was awesome for watching an experienced top tie up a sub. This is strictly an instructional video, but it served the purpose.
I also picked up two books created by Two Knotty Boys - Showing you the Ropes and Back on the Ropes are published by Green Candy Press. These are awesome books with the express intent of demonstrating rope techniques. Showing you the Ropes is primarily black and white, but Back on the Ropes has plenty of color pics. Either way, there are a lot of images that detail the steps in tying up your lover.
Both books explain rope bondage safety and cover basic knot tying. They progress pretty quickly to complicated techniques. I think I might get lost if I tried to tie some of them, but they are really gorgeous to look at. If the person using the book is more adept at knots than I am, I think they'd progress at a good speed.
BTW - I found Back on the Ropes at...Barnes and Noble. Really. So while these topics may not typically be found at "mainstream" book stores, always check, cause you just never know!
Do you have any favorite research books about BDSM? Any recommendations for books (on ANY topic) that I should check out? I'm always open to more research. Just ask anybody! LOL
All implements, including the hand, need some practice before using on a partner, no matter how willing they may be. Without practice, someone can get hurt. 
