I started with stories that had a bit of bondage and maybe a touch of spanking. It was hot. It was kinky. And it was safe. But as a reader I started exploring the edgier BDSM stories I found at EC too. Those stories were dangerous. Intense. And they usually made me cry.
I still like both, but I'm discovering that when I write I tend to write on the lighter side of the BDSM spectrum and I don't know if I should push it or stay in my "comfort" zone.
There's a lot to be said for both styles of erotic romance (I'm going to leave erotica aside for now, since that isn't what I write).
Light BDSM shows a hint of kink on the part of the characters in the book. It shows that they're willing to explore their sexuality together. It allows the focus of the story to be more on other elements rather than on the D/s lifestyle. Edgier BDSM has depth. Usually a lot of angst and tension too. There's a psychological emphasis that's really appealing to read about and to write about too.
Maybe it's about voice. What do you think? I think it might be easier to inject humor into a story with light BDSM. But I've read really great stories that are heavy BDSM that still have elements of humor too. Characters that are snarky and sarcastic. Still, some authors have a "lighter" voice and some have that "darker," more intense kind of voice.
Of course, all stories derive from characters. Maybe it's the characters that determine the intensity of the BDSM in the story. Some characters are solidly in the lifestyle and understand the psychology of things. They know that BDSM is part of the core of who they are and vanilla will never fulfill them.
Thus far, I've written or I'm working on stories where one person (usually the guy) is comfortable with himself and solidly in the lifestyle, while my heroine is learning about her own nature. In that case, she's not going to be ready for anything too intense right away.