Wednesday Whips: Male Chastity

One flavor of kink that rarely shows up in erotic romance stories is male chastity. Male chastity can be a great motivator for a gentleman's attentiveness to his partner. This practice usually encompasses a woman enclosing a man's genitals in a cagelike device (of which there are a plethora of types) to prevent stimulation and erection, keeping him locked away often for long periods of time to keep him on edge in his orgasm denial. Teasing him is, of course, encouraged. The female partner holds the key to the lock on the chastity devices. The details of the arrangement between the partners vary to their tastes, because if it isn't what floats their particular boat, why bother. There's never any one way to be kinky. Many couples choose this chastity lifestyle, and it is not limited to those who identify as part of the BDSM scene. I've read a number of blogs written both from the woman's and man's perspective in these ventures. Here are a few links if you want to take a look:

http://www.malechastityblog.com/

http://denyingthumper.com/

http://www.cagechronicles.com/

http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/

and a general link that acts as a warehouse for the variety of chastity blogs out there:

http://keyheld.blogspot.com/

But there's a reason, I believe, male chastity rarely shows up in BDSM or kinky erotic romance. In most cases the sexual and emotional pay offs of the characters in an erotic romance are tied up in their eventual sexual consummation. The metaphoric power (and very real gritty pleasure) of the orgasm is something a reader expects between the lovers at some point. And a novel or novella or short story that takes place during a limited period of time may not be able to reflect the sexiness of fantasies about long term orgasm denial.

There are a number of kinky topics that are usually discouraged by the publishers of erotic romance in BDSM stories. These include water sports or scat play, bestiality (not shape shifting stuff guys), rape in the non-consensual, non-fantasy role-play meaning, and sexual scenarios involving children. I never see enema play, gender play or pony or doggy play featured in the primary relationships in BDSM romance stories. (Maybe as some background stuff involving non-primary characters) Neither is there much verbal humiliation used by Dom's of their sub's in these books. There is other erotic literature out there that do include these topics, but perhaps its more fair saying these subjects don't crop up (not talking about crops used in discipline scenes) in mainstream erotic romance publishing houses. Now that sounds funny. Mainstream erotic romance? I'm not just talking vanilla stories here, because stories like the ones in our series are anything but vanilla. But the wonderful customers at Ellora's Cave may read the fetish and kinky stuff without it being part of their own sexual identity. And certain aspects of a D/s lifestyle appeal more to them than others. Certain fantasies do not fit the expectations of the mainly female readerships' love affair with alpha males (even if these males are sexual submissives).

Reader tastes expand as time goes on. So maybe there's hope for creative use of long term male chastity as a story element in the future. I'll think about how to tackle that hurdle. But what other kinky topics seem a poor fit for BDSM erotic romance as it stands? Ideas?

Safe, sane and consensual or RACK, take your pick.


Michelle

Of Kink and Housework

In researching the submissive lifestyle, I am amazed at how often the subject of housework comes up. Perhaps it’s my aversion to doing it that makes the term jump out at me, but stumbling across blog after blog with links and tips and entire sub-sections (no pun intended) devoted to keeping up with the dust and clutter surprises me. Admittedly, I’m not in the lifestyle and tend to focus on the sexual aspects of a D/s relationship. Yet it also makes me wonder if I could ever meet someone who’d make me want to have a floor clean enough to eat off.

The experts suggest that a man doing the housework gets more sex because his wife feels how much he appreciated her. Another study suggests that couples who spend more time on housework have more sex, regardless of who is cleaning. Do you find housework or the lack thereof affecting your sex life?

Even in vanilla role play, the naughty French Maid appears. An online search for feather dusters brought up a store link, and below the duster photo were suggestions of what you might also need. The Shock Therapy Electro Sex Kit sounds like exactly what I’d need to be willing to don a frilly apron and pull out the vacuum before sex!

With the holidays approaching and gift buying/making taking up more of our time, maybe we should look at what the subs seem to understand. A clean house is a dirty house! Instead of buying your partner another tie or sexy negligee, look into a gift certificate for a house cleaning service. Or make a personalized coupon book to include a week without chores, or a dishwashing-free night. Statistics say your sex-life will thank you.

You're welcome.

Fetish Friday: Liberate Me!

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Digital Reader Penetration Accelerates - Titles can make or break...

Digital Reader Penetration Accelerates

Interesting article about the growth of the digital market, but that was SO not where my mind went when I read the title. Am I the only one with a dirty mind here?  Probably not.

I happened to be cruising the Publisher's Weekly blog today and saw this article which was released on Monday and I'm really surprised I didn't see any commentary (snarky or otherwise) on some of the blogs I frequent. Now, I know this is an article from Publisher's Weekly so it's not likely to be about sex. But I tell ya, that's where my brain went, which shows just how vital an appropriate and catchy title can be.

The title of this article is certainly without peer because it's good and bad at the same time. But in a professional capacity, did they really want everyone to think about sex FIRST? I'm guessing no. Hell to the no!

So what makes a good title? Something that stays in your brain. That's important. And a word or phrase which is somewhat descriptive of the story. There's nothing worse than reading a story and getting to the end only to ask yourself what the heck the title had to do with the story. I hate those kinds of titles. When writing erotic romance, I've been told titles need to be kind of sexy. However, some titles that aren't explicitly sexy really do work well.

For example, Needing Harte and Commanding Acquisitions aren't overly sexual titles but damn, they are hot stories. They do fit what the stories are about - BDSM relationships with couples who are falling in love.  Great job at naming your stories ladies!

So... do you have any pet peeves about book titles? Any favorite titles? Just wondering how that digital reader penetration is going...

Commanding Acquistions - Trailer

It has been a few weeks since Commanding Acquisitions has come out, and so far the response has been very flattering. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment on the story. Simon and Gavin pass along their thanks as well.

Since it's come out, I've moved on to writing another story, but the boys haven't been too far from my mind. In fact, I did up a book trailer for them!

Though not BDSM related, I thought I'd take a few minutes to talk about how I did the trailer. It was stupid easy to pull one together using a free program call Photostory 3. The program itself is for PC users only (sorry Mac folks!) and has royalty free music included for use. The only thing you need to get are royalty free images to incorporate.

I ended up using my cover and a few pictures from a site I signed up for. The end result took me about ten minutes to build and I'm pretty happy with it.

I hope you enjoy!