The pervasion of perversion

...meh. You're pretty but I just
don't want to do you.
Or even whip you or whatever.

(pic from Male Submission Art)

Much as I enjoy Mari's and Michelle's posts, I do find it interesting how many Dommes are flying their freak flags here at 1-800-DOM-help. My own wiring being quite the other way, I've been trying recently to figure out the Domme mindset and I think it just comes to this: to me, submissive men may be cute, may be adorable, may make me want to pinch their cheeks and rumple their hair a little...but I just don't want to have sex with them. Submissive girls either. Sorry ladies, I tried. On the other hand I am cheerfully queer for dominant gals, because it's the Dom-ness, not the equipment downstairs, that matters.

On the other hand,
yes please.

I got to thinking about this wiring thing while reading a mainstream review of a mainstream romance the other day, when the (I'm assuming vanilla) reviewer complained that the hero was neither Alpha nor beta. This cracked me up because let's face it, outside the bdsm world, most men aren't either of those things. They're just guys, they like to have sex, they might have some habits that tend one direction or the other but they're mostly just in the middle. And in the vanilla romance novel world, until recently, the only acceptable flavor for heroes seemed to be Alpha. Lately I've seen more beta heroes, and I wonder if this increase isn't somehow related to the influx of Dommes on the kinky romance side of things. Not so much causally related, but part of the same move toward accepting the full range of possibility when it comes to sexual preference. Because the horizons are opening up in Romancelandia, there's just a bit more of something for everyone out there. I find that awesome.

Even though this does result in vanilla reviewers giving us some WTF reviews, I can't complain.

Seriously though, y'all...where are the other subs? Because lately I feel a bit like the only lamb in a room full of (incredibly sexy, corseted, whip-wielding) wolves (in killer black boots). A potentially very, very happy lamb, mind you...but a little backup would be nice.

Hey, wait a minute...did somebody gag all the other subs? *attempts a stern glare*

Excerpt from Mari

I am late in posting but I was out all day...at a water park. I got a little burned. I am unsure why, I put on SPF 50 BananaBoat. The cheap Walmart brand never failed like this. It's quite sad really.

Not sure what to post today (late) other than a short excerpt of my 1-800-DOM-help novella. Enjoy!

“You are such a bad girl, Jasmine. You best beg Mistress to forgive you for your latest discretion,” The Domme said as the girl began to kiss her booted toes. “I can't believe you kept what you were doing from me, your Mistress, your owner. You disrespected me and you deserve to be punished.”

“I'm so sorry Mistress Kim. I didn't mean to disrespect you. I wasn't thinking. Please Mistress.”

Mistress Kim stood over her slave groveling before her. She stood firm a moment, her hands upon her hips in a very powerful position. None would question her control, her command.

Daphne smiled taking note of the woman's stance. Watching will definitely help her onto the path of becoming a Domme. She definitely liked the control, the power over another. She could see slave Keith shaking in his bonds, waiting for her command to find his release as she pumped his cock with her hand. Oh hell yeah, that sounded delicious.

She turned her gaze to her temporary slave. He watched the Domme in the other room order her slave to stand against the St. Andrews Cross, her ass presented to her Mistress. He inhaled sharply when the Domme ran her gloved hand over her slaves backside then smacked her on the buttock with a low chuckle.

“This excite you, boy?” Daphne asked as she continued to stroke his hair.

“Yes Mistress,” he said without hesitation if not a bit breathless.

“And what about this excites you?”

He gulped then answered, “I wish that was me tied to the cross...and you smacking my ass.”

A surge of heated desire flowed through her. Her clit pulsed and wetness drenched her pussy at his answer. God, she wanted to tie him up and whip his shoulders and smack his ass, then release him just to toss him down onto the bed and ride his young hard cock until she climaxed several times. Instead she smiled and tightened her fingers in his hair and tilted his head upward. “I want to do that and more to you, boy. How does that make you feel?”

His gray eyes were hot with excitement and interest. “It...it makes me feel like surrendering to you, Mistress.”

She stared at him a moment then lowered her face to his and kissed him.

Within her mind, she already took possession, and against his lips she whispered her promise, “Tonight you're mine, slutboy. All mine.”

Copyright © 2011 Marianne LaCroix.

A Gleeful Friday

God I miss Ann Richards...

This post comes from a lot of places for me. Geographically, it comes from the general vicinity of Houston, Texas. Sad to say I'm a bit disappointed in my state for this week which brought us such gems as the cheerleader now stuck with legal fees for having the nerve to sue the school that kicked her from the squad because she wouldn't cheer for her rapist, and the Houston Fox affiliate presenting a "discussion" about the latest Glee episode with such a decidedly anti-gay bias that GLAAD is demanding an apology. Oh, and let's not forget this lovely piece of intolerance, also in the Houston area.

The comments to stories like these inevitably include at least one "Why doesn't Texas secede already? Good riddance!" But y'all, there are tolerant people here too, and some of us thought that Glee episode (which also dealt with a character finally acknowledging a serious mental illness) was awesome. Glib, sure, and too tidy. Because it's TV, and TV is like that. But the theme for the week, and for the show in general, was still valid. Own your givens, the things you didn't ask for but were just handed in life. If you try to conceal them, whether from yourself or others, at some point they will come to own you; acknowledge them, and you can deal openly with them.

Not new information, but still awesome to see

The closing scene, a rousing rendition of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way", also features each Glee member wearing a self-made t-shirt with their unasked-for given/flaw/worst feature/challenge/etc. written on it. Kurt's says, in big bold letters, LIKES BOYS. Emma's, at long last, says OCD (the best t-shirts are Brittney and Santana's, but I digress).

In the real world, and as grownups, we would probably all need more than one shirt to do that sort of labeling job. But I know mine right now would be a toss-up between KINKY, READS AND WRITES TRASHY ROMANCE NOVELS, and CLINICAL DEPRESSION, I HAZ IT :-( . Okay, also SHORT but that's pretty much self-evident if you've ever met me. Only one of those is within my power to stop, in my opinion, and it's not "kinky". Which brings me to my question(s):

This is funny but not always true, by the way

Do you think kink is born or made? If you're into it, were your earliest sexual fantasies bound up in kink or D/s in some way (mine were)? Me, I think it's the wiring. Sometimes it can be changed, but for the most part you get what you get, and I wonder if there aren't a lot of unhappy folks out there who'll never quite know what the problem is, because they'll never admit to themselves that their shirt should read KINKY. Or because they never even realize that's an option available to them.

Okay, and also - what's on your shirt?

And while you're thinking about all that, watch this: Isn't Chris Colfer the most adorable thing ever?

Same Old Same Old -- Sex and Boredom

I often hear complaints from erotic romance authors that writing sex scenes can become boring. That slot A only fits in slot B in so many ways. As a writer of primarily BDSM I felt lucky hearing these complaints. I figured there were inifinite possibilities beyond the typical vanilla sex that would keep me happily typing forever. But despite the fact I've published only three books, am halfway through a fourth (the sequel to Bound Odyssey) and written two freebie short stories, I've already noticed kinky scene writers fatigue. As I first began writing, making a choice about the types of BDSM play I included in a story was a factor of several things. First, the things that turned me on most. (Duh. I have to write the stuff, so what else should I do?) Second, the things I felt most capable of reliably representing. (Write what you know. Another duh.) Third, the play I thought appealed most to the reading market. Past blogs here have described some unusual kinks, many of which are not widely shared or understood by readers who may have just started their exploration of Dominance and submission in their erotic romance reading choices. And some topics are considered off limits by many erotic romance publishers. Scat play, urine play, age play, enema scenes to name a few (Other specialty publishers or self-published authors do include these topics. I've read some of it in books from high end erotica publishers.) I've written before about the difficulty including long term male chastity in stories when the expectation is of the partners reaching orgasm at some point. Tease and denial does not work in books for the same length of time it works in real life. And there are few cross-dressers featured as heroes in the mainstream BDSM erotic romance I read. The goal is still to write manly male characters, even those who are sexual submissives. Although boundaries are continually pushed in publishing, in any given moment there are limits to what is considered marketable. Given these limits and my own preferences I find it hard to avoid a lot of the same play scene variables in my stories. Although I was gratified to read a comment about the freshness of a scene in Magician's Chains that included some electricity play of the e-stim variety. But my typical short list includes basic bondage, St. Andrew's crosses, spiderwebs, sawhorses, crops, canes, floggers, whips, clamps, plugs, anal sex, oral sex, wax play, tease and masturbation. The list also includes painful spiked cages for male appendages and a variety of penis jewelry. I was recently asked to remove a reference to urethral sounds because they were too unfamiliar to readers. Sigh. Most of my list are respectable, time-honored components of BDSM play. They are nothing to scoff about. But still, I need to watch that I do not become stuck as a writer. Really what makes or breaks a great story scene is the emotional interaction between characters and the author's talent in creating the atmosphere and tension. That is not dependent on unusual toys or fetishes. The same old, same old can be magnificent if we've fallen in love with the heroes and heroines. But the idea of writing about something brand new does provide me with new energy. So what do you think? Do you write or read the same old, same old frequently? Do you ever wish for something new and exotic? What haven't you read about that you wish you could find? Or what old standards do you never tire of? Safe, sane and consensual, Michelle

Waxing Poetic and Feeling the Burn...

When I was a kid I was fascinated by candles. The way they flickered in the darkness. The way the wax pooled around the wick. I used to run my finger into the hot wax then watch while it hardened on my fingertip. I'd dip my finger again and again watch, fascinated, while the wax went from liquid to solid. The sting and heat held an appeal all their own. Well, I didn't know it, but I'd discovered a budding interest in wax play. 

Because you're literally playing with fire, you have to be very careful when you indulge in wax play. First, and most obviously--the flame itself. In order to not burn your house down, anyone indulging in this kind of BDSM play has to plan for fire control - not just orgasm control. Have a fire extinguisher handy. Second, wax is hot stuff - some waxes are hotter than others. Make sure you have ice and burn ointment handy. Remember, safety is a good thing. After you've handled the basics you can move on to setting the scene.

Wax sticks to everything. And it doesn't come out of fabric or hair very well. To protect fabric get a vinyl shower curtain from a local discount store and spread it over your play area. The sub's hair should get pulled back and tucked away.

In researching this I've discovered one important thing. No matter how nice it smells, don't use beeswax. It just burns too hot and while you want to feel the burn...you don't want to experience burn. There is a distinction, however fine it might be.

Preferred waxes - parafin and/or soy based. Both have a fairly low melting point and are therefore less likely to cause burns. Parafin is easy to get and is pretty inexpensive.



In fact, you can go into the grocery story (to the canning section) and pick up a nice block of parafin, if pouring will be involved. There are wax heaters available for therapeutic parafin baths/dips. You can even use a crock pot IF it has a variety of settings. Look for a simmer setting. And ALWAYS...but ALWAYS test the wax on yourself before you start your pour/drip/play. If candles are your thing then use votives, pillars and taper candles for different...effects.

Avoid scents. The oils used to add the scent to the candle will make the wax melt at a higher temperature, so burns become possible. Colors also affect the melting point. Red candles burn hotter than white ones. Players can adjust the heat of the wax by how high above the sub the top begins the drip/pour process.



Grendelkhan, author



Be sure to avoid puddles because they can cause the drippee to be burned. Spots like the belly button or the vagina need special care. Removing the wax after play can be a bit tricky. A plastic spatula...or if the top wants to inject some mindfuck into the game, a dull knife can be used to scrape the hardened wax off the bottom.



The heat. The impact of the drips. The mindgame of the flame and the blade. All of these combine to create an intensely intimate experience between the participants. Sigh. Off to write a really hot love/sex scene now. I'm inspired.

What do you think? Would you be the dripper or the drippee? Are you fascinated by flame and wax which combine to provide a truly exciting experience for adventurous lovers?  



Fetish Friday: A Fetish too Far?

I'm pretty sure I can't top the whale penis post, sadly. But a discussion on our author group has led me to consider a little fetish philosophy. Specifically, when is a fetish just too much for even the most open-minded kinkster to accept as within the realm of "okay"?

Not in the "this should be outlawed" sense, of course. Consenting adults can do whatever they like, alone or in combinations, and as long as they don't expect or try to compel me to watch them, and we're not talking about consensual snuff or something, I really do not care. However, everybody has a limit somewhere, a personal notion of what they themselves don't even like to ponder. A squick, in short.

I've done things that would probably make a lot of vanilla people's skin crawl, and I know about plenty of other things that I wouldn't do personally but totally understand. Needle play, for instance. Chain flogging. Extreme predicament suspensions. Puppy play. Not my personal kinks, but I understand the spectrum on which these options exist. More pain, more endorphins, more power exchange, more subspace...if that's what you need to get there, I understand. Go forth, puppies and piercers, and do your various things.

But a fetish I personally cannot get behind/past is the furry thing. If you do it, fine. Again, as long as I don't have to watch it. But I admit I do sort of judge. I've read about it, watched stuff, etc. about it...but I don't get it, and it trips my weirdometer into the red zone. I think maybe my brain just isn't wired to understand it. Although the first time I heard about lifestyle D/s I didn't get that (the Master in question was in fact a total asshole with big boundary issues, so I suspect that had a lot to do with it). And look at me now!

So what's yours? I've shown you mine. What's the one fetish or kink that just plain squicks you out, that you can't get past no matter what?

Wednesday Whips: Male Chastity

One flavor of kink that rarely shows up in erotic romance stories is male chastity. Male chastity can be a great motivator for a gentleman's attentiveness to his partner. This practice usually encompasses a woman enclosing a man's genitals in a cagelike device (of which there are a plethora of types) to prevent stimulation and erection, keeping him locked away often for long periods of time to keep him on edge in his orgasm denial. Teasing him is, of course, encouraged. The female partner holds the key to the lock on the chastity devices. The details of the arrangement between the partners vary to their tastes, because if it isn't what floats their particular boat, why bother. There's never any one way to be kinky. Many couples choose this chastity lifestyle, and it is not limited to those who identify as part of the BDSM scene. I've read a number of blogs written both from the woman's and man's perspective in these ventures. Here are a few links if you want to take a look:

http://www.malechastityblog.com/

http://denyingthumper.com/

http://www.cagechronicles.com/

http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/

and a general link that acts as a warehouse for the variety of chastity blogs out there:

http://keyheld.blogspot.com/

But there's a reason, I believe, male chastity rarely shows up in BDSM or kinky erotic romance. In most cases the sexual and emotional pay offs of the characters in an erotic romance are tied up in their eventual sexual consummation. The metaphoric power (and very real gritty pleasure) of the orgasm is something a reader expects between the lovers at some point. And a novel or novella or short story that takes place during a limited period of time may not be able to reflect the sexiness of fantasies about long term orgasm denial.

There are a number of kinky topics that are usually discouraged by the publishers of erotic romance in BDSM stories. These include water sports or scat play, bestiality (not shape shifting stuff guys), rape in the non-consensual, non-fantasy role-play meaning, and sexual scenarios involving children. I never see enema play, gender play or pony or doggy play featured in the primary relationships in BDSM romance stories. (Maybe as some background stuff involving non-primary characters) Neither is there much verbal humiliation used by Dom's of their sub's in these books. There is other erotic literature out there that do include these topics, but perhaps its more fair saying these subjects don't crop up (not talking about crops used in discipline scenes) in mainstream erotic romance publishing houses. Now that sounds funny. Mainstream erotic romance? I'm not just talking vanilla stories here, because stories like the ones in our series are anything but vanilla. But the wonderful customers at Ellora's Cave may read the fetish and kinky stuff without it being part of their own sexual identity. And certain aspects of a D/s lifestyle appeal more to them than others. Certain fantasies do not fit the expectations of the mainly female readerships' love affair with alpha males (even if these males are sexual submissives).

Reader tastes expand as time goes on. So maybe there's hope for creative use of long term male chastity as a story element in the future. I'll think about how to tackle that hurdle. But what other kinky topics seem a poor fit for BDSM erotic romance as it stands? Ideas?

Safe, sane and consensual or RACK, take your pick.


Michelle

Fetish Friday: Liberate Me!

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Scene Interrupted

Last Wednesday before going to bed to face what I knew to be a hectic Thanksgiving, I whispered into my husband’s ear a plan for Friday night. I had worked out a scene while baking pies, something new, something exciting, something that needed time to play out well. I whispered because we were still downstairs. I was heading to bed, but he stays up later and I couldn’t wait to share it with him. I also couldn’t let the kids hear what I was saying. Anyway, I knew he needed some fun to look forward to as we were having most of my family over, and they tend to rub him a little raw. Sex, or the promise of it, is always an excellent way to distract a man. Unfortunately, half way through dinner, my throat started hurting and by Friday, I was flat on my back with whatever virus had felled my children the week before. No play for us! I’m still kind of sniffling and coughing over my keyboard.

My husband always teases me about being a planner. In every aspect of our lives, I like to plot and plan for the next few days, weeks, months, years. It keeps me centered and focused, and I think this tendency serves me particularly well when it comes to sex. While vanilla sex can be done more spontaneously (and can be quite a treat after a long day), I’ve always believed that kink needs to be thought out. We need props and scenes and let’s face it, if we’re not careful, someone can get hurt or at least feel a little worse for the wear. What with careers and kids, time is at a premium anyway for most couples. I think the kinky couple has it that much harder. Is there a way to be both spontaneous and kinky? Maybe it’s me, the control freak planner, that has trouble just jumping in. I’d love to hear from others. I’d love to find a way to be more flexible. I’m just not sure it’s possible.

Ethical Paradigms In The BDSM Community: Safe, Sane Consensual and Risk Aware Consensual Kink.

Guest post By Deborah Isadora Wade, MSW

We are delighted to have Deborah Isadora Wade, MSW here with us at 1-800-Dom-help!

Deborah Isadora Wade is a fiery, flawed and fabulous femme. She has been part of the Leather community for over ten years. A proud member of Alameda County Leather Corps, she is Ms. Alameda County Leather 2009. For two years she was Secretary of The Exiles: San Francisco. She is a member Mama’s Family as Mama’s Dragondancer. Retiring from social work in 1999, she was a college instructor at the University of Minnesota and The Women's Theological Institute. She was awarded a National Community Service Medal, presented by Eli Wiesel and President Clinton, for her work in building collaborations and her 30 years of work with homeless families, domestic violence and sexual assault survivors. She was a columnist for Lavender Press (Minneapolis/St. Paul) and Of A Like Mind. She is Co-Author of Partners in Change: Building Collaboration, a book on moving organizations from networking to full collaborative ventures. Deborah infrequently (related to her elder status and semi-retirement) writes for Leatherati. Deborah loves anything that sparkles, social gatherings, dancing, and organizing. She may have a wee shoe fetish, umm collection.

Today she is sharing the differences between SSC and RACK.

SSC: Safe Sane Consensual

When I entered the BDSM community over ten years ago, the community had been working a long time to bring ethical behavior into its paradigm. I was taught the mantra, “Safe, Sane, and Consensual”, the “Stop, Drop, and Roll” of the BDSM community. According to David Stein, who developed the phrase, SSC was intended to be a minimum standard for ethical BDSM. It was meant to establish a distinction between play and the perception of sadomasochism as an abusive behavior.

Safe
Safe meant I took care not to harm anyone, to not spread sexually transmitted diseases and to educate myself on both techniques and personal growth. What areas on the body can be hit without harming someone? How do I keep someone’s mental and physical self safe? How do I provide care after play? Safe words and signals were developed. I was taught the basic safety of “Yellow” meaning slow down or pause and “Red” meaning stop that activity or scene. Learning about safe applications of toys is vital for keeping me and my play partner(s) emotionally, physically and mentally protected.

Sane
Trust is a vital principle when it comes to letting someone hurt me because I like it, or to submit to me by exchanging a power dynamic. Sane is about self control. Sane is about self knowledge. It is about never losing awareness of yourself, your body and your stability. It is more than just trusting your Dominant or submissive (D/s); it is about trusting yourself, knowing your limits and boundaries. Sane is about boundaries. Sane is realizing what your needs are, what your rules are, what your “no’s” are and where you draw your personal line in the sand. Sane also respects consent.

Consensual
The move to consent happens when individuals want to play together in certain ways, within set parameters and with agreed upon toys. Both SSC and RACK have consent as their foundation. I negotiate a lot when I consent to play or dominate someone. “Are you interested in playing with me?” when asked politely may be respectfully answered with a “Yes” or “Let’s talk” or a “No, I am really not here to play tonight.” Whatever my answer, it is valued. I need to hear out loud that “Yes, you may (fill in the blank).” Consent for D/s may be in the form of service or play. Consent for some is Master/slave (M/s) and the person chooses to be owned. Consent is because you want to play; you want to be tied up, teased with a feather or a flogger and brought to sexual fulfillment. Consent means knowledge. Consent means approval. Consent means permission to play with me within these limits and boundaries we have agreed upon.

RACK – Risk Aware Consensual Kink

Safe, Sane and Consensual worked. As in all communities, we evaluated and looked at our own behavior and practices to develop a more comprehensive and realistic paradigm for ourselves. I don’t see SSC and RACK as a contrast but more as a deepening of the understanding and importance of our play. Some see RACK beliefs as closer to their practices and more realistic. Nothing is truly safe and the risk is an essential part of the buzz. Risk is lowered by skill development but it is still risk. So in 1999, Gary Switch proposed the term RACK.

Risk Aware
Nothing can be 100% safe. We do not have a robot following us around, waving his arms spouting, “Danger, Will Robinson.” Risk aware means everyone involved is aware of the threat or hazards that may occur. Everyone plays differently. Each of us has our limits and consideration of where the “edge” of our particular play cliff is located. There is no safe or not safe there are only degrees of each. Accidents happen. Needles break. Floggers slip in your hand. Earthquakes shake your bondage bed. Your mother comes to visit and you need to hide the eyehooks. It is all about being risk aware.

Consensual
Consensual encompasses all of the same parameters as the SSC paradigm but with RACK the ethical paradigm consents to and acknowledges the risk inherent in some play.

Kink
I see kink as the overall term for alternative sex in our community. It means twisted for a reason. Kink is living my most deviant and bizarre needs out in a sexual or non-sexual manner. Kink is the overall word I use in community to describe general preferences. If I am kinky, I probably like more than just missionary position in my sexual life. If I am kinky I may like sex in places I might get caught because it heightens the endorphins and makes me wet. If I am kinky I may like to kiss one person while another is at my feet kissing my toes. If I am kinky I may be pushing someone against a wall, tearing off their clothes and running a whip across their shoulders. All are alternative sexual experiences that some see as abnormal or beyond the standard of sexuality as they know it. Kink includes BDSM. Or BDSM includes kink.

So RACK becomes a more realistic expression of being safely aware of my ability to practice self control and consent. We expand our beliefs to realize that all forms of pleasure need ethical paradigms to keep us healthy and from harm. Either way it is more inclusive of all the forms of delightful unexpected sweet release!

Websites to explore for more information:

• SOJ is a not-for-profit, all volunteer, San Francisco-based education and support organization devoted to the art of safe, consensual and non-exploitative BDSM.
• Leatherati explores the unique lifestyle of contests and titleholders, travel and events, dining and drinking, entertainment and shopping and of course, news and opinions around the Leather (mostly GLBTQI) community.
• Informed Consent is the leading website about BDSM in the UK.
• Black Rose is a support, education, and social group for adults who share these interests.

Fetish Friday: Safe Search is OFF.

“The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.”

- Alfred Kinsey

If you’d told me ten or even five years ago that I would ever be composing a blog post with the theme “Fetish Friday” I would have definitely asked for some of whatever you were smoking. But then again, if you’d told me five years ago that I would be celebrating my fifth book release, I’d have started demanding your keys and finding you a designated driver. And yet here I am, backlist under my belt, fixing to write a little something about fetishes. Or as one of our happy, kinky crew here at 1-800-DOM-help describes them, “the things that make us sweat”! 

We all know Rule 34 of the Internet (whatever it is, there is porn of it). Think of anything - anything at all - and not only is somebody somewhere turned on by it, but there is probably a discussion group or forum devoted entirely to that subject. Heck, there may even be a national convention. People who like to have sex wearing bunny slippers. People who like to have sex with bunny slippers. People who like to have sex (or perhaps even live their day-to-day lives) dressed up in full-on bunny suits. It's all out there, and so much more [Do not even get me started on the growing prevalence of tentacle porn and eel-related fetish videos. Oh, and by the way, you do not ever want to see my browser history]. 

The point is, people are turned on by all sorts of different things. Just about anything can be the focus of a fetish. If it’s something other than a typical sex toy (dildos and vibrators don’t count as fetish objects, no matter how we may adore them) and you are aroused by it, then it may be at the center of a sexual fetish. If you can't get aroused without it, of course, you know for sure. 

Of course the downside of all this variety is that people can develop fetishes centered around some very unsafe objects and/or activities (you’ll notice I’m not providing links to any of those). And for some people the focus on a sexual fetish can develop into a genuine paraphilic disorder (a fetish gone bad, essentially) if it’s causing them distress or causing others harm. 

But in a safe, sane, consensual environment, within the bounds of the law, exploring the world of fetishes can be good, clean or perhaps exquisitely dirty fun. And whether your interest is just casually kinky or truly focused, learning more about fetishes in general can teach you to see the entire world in a whole new light. Think outside the box. You may have sexual tastes you didn’t even know about! And even if you don’t, you can sure have a heck of a lot of fun finding out.

So stock up on condoms and lube, make sure your Safe Search is set to “Off,” and let your imagination soar. Or put on bunny slippers. Or roll around in chocolate pudding. Or cruise the produce aisle. 

Just please leave the eels out of it. 

What is the most unusual or intriguing fetish you've read about or come across? Let us know in the comments!