The pervasion of perversion

...meh. You're pretty but I just
don't want to do you.
Or even whip you or whatever.

(pic from Male Submission Art)

Much as I enjoy Mari's and Michelle's posts, I do find it interesting how many Dommes are flying their freak flags here at 1-800-DOM-help. My own wiring being quite the other way, I've been trying recently to figure out the Domme mindset and I think it just comes to this: to me, submissive men may be cute, may be adorable, may make me want to pinch their cheeks and rumple their hair a little...but I just don't want to have sex with them. Submissive girls either. Sorry ladies, I tried. On the other hand I am cheerfully queer for dominant gals, because it's the Dom-ness, not the equipment downstairs, that matters.

On the other hand,
yes please.

I got to thinking about this wiring thing while reading a mainstream review of a mainstream romance the other day, when the (I'm assuming vanilla) reviewer complained that the hero was neither Alpha nor beta. This cracked me up because let's face it, outside the bdsm world, most men aren't either of those things. They're just guys, they like to have sex, they might have some habits that tend one direction or the other but they're mostly just in the middle. And in the vanilla romance novel world, until recently, the only acceptable flavor for heroes seemed to be Alpha. Lately I've seen more beta heroes, and I wonder if this increase isn't somehow related to the influx of Dommes on the kinky romance side of things. Not so much causally related, but part of the same move toward accepting the full range of possibility when it comes to sexual preference. Because the horizons are opening up in Romancelandia, there's just a bit more of something for everyone out there. I find that awesome.

Even though this does result in vanilla reviewers giving us some WTF reviews, I can't complain.

Seriously though, y'all...where are the other subs? Because lately I feel a bit like the only lamb in a room full of (incredibly sexy, corseted, whip-wielding) wolves (in killer black boots). A potentially very, very happy lamb, mind you...but a little backup would be nice.

Hey, wait a minute...did somebody gag all the other subs? *attempts a stern glare*

Excerpt from Mari

I am late in posting but I was out all day...at a water park. I got a little burned. I am unsure why, I put on SPF 50 BananaBoat. The cheap Walmart brand never failed like this. It's quite sad really.

Not sure what to post today (late) other than a short excerpt of my 1-800-DOM-help novella. Enjoy!

“You are such a bad girl, Jasmine. You best beg Mistress to forgive you for your latest discretion,” The Domme said as the girl began to kiss her booted toes. “I can't believe you kept what you were doing from me, your Mistress, your owner. You disrespected me and you deserve to be punished.”

“I'm so sorry Mistress Kim. I didn't mean to disrespect you. I wasn't thinking. Please Mistress.”

Mistress Kim stood over her slave groveling before her. She stood firm a moment, her hands upon her hips in a very powerful position. None would question her control, her command.

Daphne smiled taking note of the woman's stance. Watching will definitely help her onto the path of becoming a Domme. She definitely liked the control, the power over another. She could see slave Keith shaking in his bonds, waiting for her command to find his release as she pumped his cock with her hand. Oh hell yeah, that sounded delicious.

She turned her gaze to her temporary slave. He watched the Domme in the other room order her slave to stand against the St. Andrews Cross, her ass presented to her Mistress. He inhaled sharply when the Domme ran her gloved hand over her slaves backside then smacked her on the buttock with a low chuckle.

“This excite you, boy?” Daphne asked as she continued to stroke his hair.

“Yes Mistress,” he said without hesitation if not a bit breathless.

“And what about this excites you?”

He gulped then answered, “I wish that was me tied to the cross...and you smacking my ass.”

A surge of heated desire flowed through her. Her clit pulsed and wetness drenched her pussy at his answer. God, she wanted to tie him up and whip his shoulders and smack his ass, then release him just to toss him down onto the bed and ride his young hard cock until she climaxed several times. Instead she smiled and tightened her fingers in his hair and tilted his head upward. “I want to do that and more to you, boy. How does that make you feel?”

His gray eyes were hot with excitement and interest. “It...it makes me feel like surrendering to you, Mistress.”

She stared at him a moment then lowered her face to his and kissed him.

Within her mind, she already took possession, and against his lips she whispered her promise, “Tonight you're mine, slutboy. All mine.”

Copyright © 2011 Marianne LaCroix.

Music to Play By

I don't think I ever mentioned my experience in a dungeon out in LA while attending the RT conference. I didn't get to play, more's the pity, but I did observe lots of wonderful play by other people. I was particularly impressed by some fire play by a Dom. Anyway, while there is much about the night I could share because it was all great, there were a few minutes at the beginning of the evening that is particularly memorable. As I sat in the main room, watching a couple of Dommes (one obviously a professional) working on their respective men, the overhead music started playing Numb by Linkin Park. Now, I happen to love that song, both the original and the Encore version with Jay-Z. I even had it as my ring tone for a long time. I have always found music to be very evocative. A good piece will send me soaring emotionally in ways I cannot express. The experience of hearing a song I love with the back beat of floggers and paddles hitting flesh - well, I don't have words. I really don't, but I will never forget it. Setting a mood for play is important and music can be a big part of that. I don't think I realized how big a part until that night.

Mari poses for a BDSM themed photo shoot (preview)

Mari being Domme. LOL Don't push me or I will whip the crap out of you, boy.

 That's right, cross me. I dare you.

Yes, I know. I got boobage. LOL

More images to come from a photo shoot done in Tallahassee on 6-22-2011 by Mika Fowler. Images used with permission.

No copying allowed without permission!

Subspace has nothing to do with a submarine

When one of my editors asked me to write a novella about subspace I thought, hmm. I’ve heard so much about it but never really studied it. So like everything else, I set out to research it. My first question was: what the hell is subspace actually? I can assure you, it has nothing to do with being in a submarine.

Subspace is a collection of things, depending on who you ask. One definition describes it as a state in which the body and mind are turned on and over-stimulated to the point where extreme levels of pain become pleasurable. the sub enters into a natural occurring trance separating mind and body and it takes a observant Dom to recognize and handle.

Another says subspace is a metaphor for the state the bottom's mind and body is in during a deeply involved play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses, for example in the use of whips or canes The psychological aspect of BDSM also causes many bottoms to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience. Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence. A good Dom pays careful attention to the sub to make sure the bottom isn't placing him or her self in danger. Many bottoms require aftercare while returning from subspace.

For
some, it’s the sensation of being out of the body and away from the
events that are going on. This detachment from the body causes the
slave to be able to ‘take’ more pain and more verbal attacks from a
Dominant, often also resulting in the slave complying with every
wish without hesitation or without any resistance. The slave is
sort of a ‘super slave’ at this point – able to do everything that
their Dominant wishes of them.

Another idea is that subspace is the point at which the body begins
to produce endorphins in order to fend off physical pain. This
 rush of chemicals in the body makes the slave feel good and allows
them to forget about anything that might be uncomfortable. Their
brains are telling them that all is right with the world. This
feeling can continue from the scene into the moments and hours
after the scene is over.

During the scene, the intense experiences of both pain and pleasure trigger a sympathetic nervous system response, which causes a release of epinephrine from the suprarenal glands, as well as a dump of endorphins. These natural chemicals, part of the fight or flight response, produce the same effect as a morphine-like drug, increasing the pain tolerance of the submissive as the scene becomes more intense.

Since the increase of hormones and chemicals produces a sort of trance-like state, the submissive starts to feel out-of-body, detached from reality, and as the high comes down, and the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in, a deep exhaustion, as well as incoherence. Many submissives, upon reaching a height of subspace, will lose all sensation of pain, as any stimulus causes the period to prolong.

The physiological and psychological descent from total consciousness to the relaxing, uninhibited plane that is sub-space can be mind-blowing - indeed, mind-expanding - especially the first time it happens.

It’s the BDSM equivalent of “going to your happy place.”

And for some, it’s extremely happy.

The Submissive Male -- Misunderstood

I have been reading quite a bit about the ongoing devaluation of the submissive male in society. The discussion goes something like this. Our culture views a male who gives up his power as pathetic, lacking strength, and an object of derision. And dominant women must really be women who have not found the correct male to whom to submit. There are manly Dom's who treat some of my fellow female dominants this way, continuing to view them as potential conquests. Because of this it may be more difficult for submissive men to be in mixed public play environments with some male dominants making the above judgements of them. Although I am sure there are plenty of submissive men secure enough in their desires and strengths to not give a shit. Still. It is why an exclusively FemDom club or party is a valuable resource.

I have been following an interesting series of interviews of submissive males by a blogging Domme (Dishevelled Domina,) including the latest entry by Tom Allen who does the blog The Edge of Vanilla. (I also highly recommend his blog.)

I find his answers fascinating and urge you to read the interview. And for good measure, visit Maymay's Male Submission Art blog, his on-going effort to explore the strength and beauty in male submission and challenge these stereotypes.

I know I've written about this topic before, but it is near and dear to me. And for those who write and read BDSM which includes that alluring alpha submissive man, I think the topic is point on.

Safe, sane and consensual,

Michelle

Gardner's Syndrome (a serious post)

Hi y'all, for today's post I'd like to share something a bit more serious than usual.

Ellora's Cave has one fan who really knows what she's talking about when she says the books are a much-needed escape from reality, because her reality is pretty darn bad on the medical front. Her family has been devastated by a truly horrible genetic disease that's already taken her husband and seems determined to claim her children as well. Because so few people know of Gardner's Syndrome, she asked that people read and forward the information below to help spread the word in the hope of raising people's awareness and possibly generating more interest among potential researchers. I am  not an email forwarder by habit, but this is one very tough, very nice and very tired lady who deserves some help fighting her fight. Please read and consider forwarding/posting elsewhere, even if you normally don't. There's also a link to a Facebook page you can "like" to help out.


LIGHT THE NIGHT FOR GS



Gardner's Syndrome/familial adenomatous polyposis is a chronic, incredibly
painful and terminal disease that approximately 200,000 American men, women and
children endure without hope for a cure, and Americans are not the only ones
affected—it hits every age group, ethnicity, and country on the planet. There is
little to no research being done, little medical knowledge to help the doctors
who deal with it (I was told by a doctor that all he knew of it came from ONE
paragraph from one of his medical textbooks that he more or less memorized to
pass an exam while in med school), and often, by the time the diagnosis is made,
the damage done is far too extensive to hope for much quality of life.

Worse still, the average life span for anyone is 35-40 (meaning age at time of
death, not how long you have after diagnosis); far too frequently, however,
children and teenagers are struck down before they can ever have anything
resembling a life.

There are no celebrities to help publicize the need for help or to educate the
public, nor are there organizations offering support and help to those who
suffer it, or for their families; medical poverty is the norm, along with
guesswork from medical teams and abandonment by families, spouses, and friends.

It's more than time for a change, it's time for action. On August 17, 2011, we
are asking that everyone who reads these words join us in lighting the darkness
of ignorance by making luminarias and lining their driveways, walkways, porches
and/or any path that leads to their front door.

Let the world know there is a danger, a nightmare no one knows about, and share
hope with those who have little by lighting their darkness.

I'll be lighting the first one, and on it will be written my husband's name and
the date of his death on one side, and on the other, LIGHT THE NIGHT FOR
GARDNER'S SYNDROME.

Please email this to everyone you know; forward it, post it on a blog, print it
up and put it on bulletin boards….but share it. Don't let one more person die
because the night stayed dark.


http://www.facebook.com/pages/Light-the-Night-for-Gardners-Syndrome/125891050826322?ref=ts&sk=wall

Lock up that cock

I'm at work on my 1-800-DOM-help novella which I call Leather Becomes Her. I hope to get it done in the next few weeks. It was a slow start but I have been writing up a storm for the past few days. I'm in a groove with it.

In the synopsis of the story there is a BDSM device used which is sort of pivotal to the story: a Gates of Hell. Actually it is much more specific, a locking Gates of Hell. I was told by a Domme friend there was no such thing. Oh I beg to differ. Below is a 5 Gates of Hell. Pretty basic in structure...not locking. Gates of hell can also have rubber rings or leather straps and can vary in the number of gates from 3 to 7. Personally I think the funniest part is the D ring for a leash attachment. Heh.

Now take a look at a locking Gates of Hell: 

Pretty intimidating isn't it? And you thought the regular one looked uncomfortable. This one can be worn for hours...days. This is the locking Gates of Hell...the kind I am using in my current 1-800-DOM-help novella. Intrigued? LOL

What is a Gates of Hell used for? Well obviously it is a chastity device. Use can range for a session to hours to days. Chastity is a powerful tool in controlling a submissive man. Tease him, he gets hard but can't obtain a full erection while wearing the device. Try torturing him for a while and see how submissive he can become. Some Dommes use chastity like this to make sure their subs don't do any self pleasuring without permission. (All about control!) Can you imagine a house slave boy naked except for this while cleaning your bathroom? (Damn, I wish!)

Do submissive men want this contraption on their cock? Yeah, a lot of them do. Believe it. They love the idea of their cock owned by a Mistress. Only she can release him. Only she holds the key. Very much a power play here. For a true submissive man the humiliation alone is a huge turn on. He's slapped into a Gates of Hell as soon as he walks into his Mistress's presence, wondering if he will be released once she is through using him as her toy. Wouldn't it be a pity if he was used, all excited and wanting to come and then denied release from the Gates? (hahahaha)

No, I do not own a locking Gates of Hell. It is for the book, people. It is a big reason why I am liking writing BDSM anymore, I can use a piece of equipment like this to enhance the story and intensity of emotions between the hero and heroine. Besides, it makes me laugh as I write. Yes, I do have a sadistic streak.


Marianne LaCroix
www.mariannelacroix.com
http://mariannelacroix.blogspot.com

*This post appeared originally on my blog.

Whip it good.

I love the whip. I recently acquired a 4 foot black leather whip made by Axel of Whips by Axel. I just loooove it. I bought it right from the whipmaker's hand at a demo on whips. I was interested when I went to the demo but fell in love once I got my hands on one.

What is it about the whip that is so alluring? It looks so simple by itself, but once you start using one, you realize how the power of pain can be harnessed in a change of pressure behind each throw.

There are different kinds of whips like the bull whip (like Indiana Jones used), the quirt (a type of whip with a forked "dragon tongue" on the end), and everything in between.

Generally for indoor BDSM play, the single tail whip is a popular choice. It is suggested the length be controllable at about 4 feet. I have seen 3 foot single tails, but it takes more experience to throw properly. Control is key.

The basic throw is really quite controlled and depending on the pressure, it can range from a light tap to a very painful sting. Imagine casting a fishing line out into a lake. If you want to go further, you throw harder, closer is gentle. Same thing.

Note the picture of the single tail whip. The whip is made of leather plaited tightly by a master craftsman. The end is made of plaited nylon. The nylon is the portion which comes in contact with the skin. No, not the leather part, the nylon. Never drag the whip on the ground and then use on someone's skin! The nylon can be cleaned with some alcohol to keep sanitary, especially if used on more than one partner. And a whip shouldn't be passed between people for use. A whip is like the individual. If you loan it to a friend and get it back, you may end up feeling a change in the way it throws. It is suggested by Axel to never loan out the whip. It gets used to the owner's hold and style.

Yes, there are masochists who want to be whipped. They like the pain. They welcome it. Good thing when there are sadists like me who enjoy watching a fine muscled back squirm under a whip. I admit, I giggle when a red mark shows up or the sound of fear and anticipation are expressed with a moan or whimper. Do they ask for it to stop? Never. A good dominant not only can control the whip but also measure when the sub has had enough. If they are in subspace, they can't know. They are too gone from reality to make that decision. So, be careful.

At Romanticon this year in Akron, Ohio I will be one of the presenters in a workshop "BDSM Top to Bottom".  I believe I will be doing a whip demo as the thrower. (Sascha Illyvich has asked me to bottom for his whip demo at this year's Dragoncon. I told him shoulders and back only...but he wanted ass. LOL) I am anxious for Dragoncon as I hear whipmaker Victor Tella will be there selling his whips. I heard so much about them, I want to see if one is right for me. Hopefully something purple and black...

I am working on my 1-800-DOM-help book presently, and yes, the Domme heroine in the story has a whip as her preferred toy. ;-)

To see a hot whipping and flogging video, check out this one on XHamster.  My absolute favorite. I love her attitude. (She's gorgeous too.) Although she focuses on his ass, if it was me, I'd include back and shoulders (careful of the kidney areas of course). ***Note this video is on a free adult video site. I'm not responsible for content. I've never had a problem with viruses in visiting this site.***

Marianne LaCroix
http://mariannelacroix.blogspot.com

Laughter

It's time again to appreciate BDSM humor, so I'm redirecting you to a website labeled simply BDSM Humor. Sometimes you just have to laugh through the pain.

I'm reposting the list of Top Ten Things You Will Never Hear A Sub Say To Their Master/Mistress below with full credit to Aleister Blacke. Visit the BDSM Humor site for more guffaws.

So here goes the top ten--

#10: How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to put your leather pants in the washer?

#09: Yeah, right... SPANK THIS!

#08: Tomorrow night, I get to tie you up, right?

#07: God, you Dom's think the world should bow before you!

#06: And just what do you think you are going to do with that paddle?

#05: Sorry, I got a date tomorrow night. Some other time, perhaps?

#04: Spanking? I-THINK-NOT!

#03: Who died and left you in charge?

#02: Do your own damn laundry!

and the #1 thing you will never hear a sub say to their Master...

#01: What do I look like, your maid?