Okay, I admit I posted the above pic just because it's one of my favorites. I've posted it in other places before, but what better site than on a blog devoted to BDSM stories. I'm Michelle Polaris, one of the authors creating tales for our brand new 1-800-Dom-help series collaboration. I write exclusively BDSM erotic romance and have two books out with Ellora's Cave, Bound Odyssey (a futuristic m/m/f menage) and Magician's Chains (a m/m contemporary fantasy).
Although I'm still finishing my story for the 1-800-Dom-help series (as yet unapproved working title Fettered Love), I wanted to discuss a topic near and dear to my heart: how the subject of BDSM is the perfect fodder to use in romance stories. What better way to get at the topics of trust, communication, honesty, and healing of the past psychic wounds of our heroes and heroines than by laying it out there explicitly as is intended in the BDSM scene. When people play with one another in this lifestyle, it is common and highly recommended to explicitly negotiate contracts between play partners about their boundaries, their kink interests, and the limits to activities they will and will not agree to try. This includes situations straddling the cusp of those limits. The issues of power exchange are laid bare between involved parties -- who gives up their power and who takes the power -- in a way that is seldom discussed in vanilla relationships where you'd be a fool to think power was not an issue. The idea that partners must trust one another is blatantly paid tribute in the BDSM world. And the healthy acceptance of the wide spectrum of human sexuality is acknowledged.
I'm also a big believer in the symbolic and cathartic power of playing out scenes involving trust between partners. As a writer I like to develop characters with wounds from childhood. Inevitably this involves betrayal or abandonment or abuse of some time. I know, very dark, but it's the burden of angst I bear. A powerful BDSM scene between protagonists can draw out that pain and act as a corrective force, a healing force. And the scenes are very intense, wrenching the heart. There is a lot of room for characters to demonstrate in the clearest way possible that even when there is pain there can be love, and that trust will not be betrayed.
So if you're looking for light reading fare, you probably don't want my books. But if you marvel at the ways honest, loving relationships can heal the soul in the face of adversity, then check out my past stories and or any of the 1-800-Dom-help stories from our group of talented authors.
And chime in with your opinion about the use of BDSM in romance. What does it mean for you? Certainly it's freakin' hot, all character growth aside.
Safe, sane and consensual folks--
Michelle
