BDSM Book Reviews

Looking for one concentrated place to find good kinky books? There's a fairly newish review site out there specializing in reviews for BDSM books. BDSM Book Reviews. The reviewers themselves are kinky folks, so you know they're interested in these stories.

Okay, I'm particularly partial to this new site because they've just reviewed Fettered Love and given it 4 out of 5 Paddles. (Thank you Michele) But in this day and age of fragmented attention and a bazillion places to look for the perfect reading material, it helps to have a dedicated place to go if you crave one particular sub-genre.

Here's a snippet from my review:

"I enjoyed this story and the characters had depth and dimension. The depth that Kirk and Evan's love is consuming in and out of the dungeon. The BDSM scenes are descriptive and intense, but rational for the intensity supported throughout the story."

Several other stories in our 1-800 series have been reviewed at this site (Emerald Dungeon by Kathy Kulig and Needing Harte by Marilu Mann) so check them out. Who knows, maybe a few more of our books have slipped in without me knowing.

Take care and happy reading.

Safe, sane and consensual,
Michelle

Clamps: A Primer

Clamps are an old BDSM standby; one of the most commonly used play toys after whips. And so of course they appear in many BDSM erotic romance stories. They are low effort on a Dom(me)'s part once they are placed on a submissive's body. They can be as inexpensive as the ordinary spring clothespins most commonly used, though many other items can be hijacked for the same purpose: paper clips, mousetraps, tubing clamps, small vise grip pliers. Ouch! I know I always feature a selection of clamps in my stories. Many clamps have a somewhat flat surface to prevent damage. Alligator clamps (saw-tooth) are more likely to do damage as they cut into skin.

It's wonderful to be able to adjust the tightness of a clamp if you can purchase or rig ones with this ability. Different submissives vary in the amount of tightness they find erotic. Although if yours are not adjustable, you can always stock a variety that have different degrees of tightness. In addition, if you are using them on male nipples you will have an added challenge if the man has particularly small nubs. Smaller clothespins will be a must, although they also sell nipple clamps that take this problem into consideration.

Popular spots to try your clamps? Nipples, genitals, ear lobes, lips, folds of skin on your neck, belly button, and your perineum. Trying them out on yourself is always a good idea to gain understanding of what a sub will be experiencing. Don't forget that clamps hurt continuously. Most folks, according to Jay Wiseman's classic SM101: A Realistic Introduction, can take about four clamps for up to a half-hour. Since they hurt non-stop, a good dominant with NEVER forget that they are on their submissive and let too much time pass. Clamps cut off circulation to the pinched area. The very longest to leave on a clamp in one area is an hour, although I am sure this point can be debated.

Another important point--only apply clamps if a submissive is feeling aroused. The more turned on someone is, the more pain they can take. This is also important to remember when you are removing the clamps. Don't let too much time pass after orgasm, or simply remove them before orgasm, to ensure sexual excitement is still balancing out the pain. Clamps hurt like a son of a bitch coming off because the blood is rushing back to the tissue and re-expanding it. This is particularly true of clamped nipples. They should be removed gradually and since clamped tissue is sensitive to movement, you should keep the area still during removal. And don't rub freshly unclamped skin. It hurts more.

So why clamps? If you provide a lot of sexual stimulation after you have pinched on those lovelies, then you are providing a delightful contrast between sexual pleasure and erotic pain. Mixing that pain with prolonged sexual pleasure makes a deep impression in a submissive's mind.

Want some other tidbits on clamp types, placement, and safety? Check out that Jay Wiseman text I mentioned. SM 101: A Realistic Introduction. It's a classic.

Safe, sane and consensual,
Michelle

Same Old Same Old -- Sex and Boredom

I often hear complaints from erotic romance authors that writing sex scenes can become boring. That slot A only fits in slot B in so many ways. As a writer of primarily BDSM I felt lucky hearing these complaints. I figured there were inifinite possibilities beyond the typical vanilla sex that would keep me happily typing forever. But despite the fact I've published only three books, am halfway through a fourth (the sequel to Bound Odyssey) and written two freebie short stories, I've already noticed kinky scene writers fatigue. As I first began writing, making a choice about the types of BDSM play I included in a story was a factor of several things. First, the things that turned me on most. (Duh. I have to write the stuff, so what else should I do?) Second, the things I felt most capable of reliably representing. (Write what you know. Another duh.) Third, the play I thought appealed most to the reading market. Past blogs here have described some unusual kinks, many of which are not widely shared or understood by readers who may have just started their exploration of Dominance and submission in their erotic romance reading choices. And some topics are considered off limits by many erotic romance publishers. Scat play, urine play, age play, enema scenes to name a few (Other specialty publishers or self-published authors do include these topics. I've read some of it in books from high end erotica publishers.) I've written before about the difficulty including long term male chastity in stories when the expectation is of the partners reaching orgasm at some point. Tease and denial does not work in books for the same length of time it works in real life. And there are few cross-dressers featured as heroes in the mainstream BDSM erotic romance I read. The goal is still to write manly male characters, even those who are sexual submissives. Although boundaries are continually pushed in publishing, in any given moment there are limits to what is considered marketable. Given these limits and my own preferences I find it hard to avoid a lot of the same play scene variables in my stories. Although I was gratified to read a comment about the freshness of a scene in Magician's Chains that included some electricity play of the e-stim variety. But my typical short list includes basic bondage, St. Andrew's crosses, spiderwebs, sawhorses, crops, canes, floggers, whips, clamps, plugs, anal sex, oral sex, wax play, tease and masturbation. The list also includes painful spiked cages for male appendages and a variety of penis jewelry. I was recently asked to remove a reference to urethral sounds because they were too unfamiliar to readers. Sigh. Most of my list are respectable, time-honored components of BDSM play. They are nothing to scoff about. But still, I need to watch that I do not become stuck as a writer. Really what makes or breaks a great story scene is the emotional interaction between characters and the author's talent in creating the atmosphere and tension. That is not dependent on unusual toys or fetishes. The same old, same old can be magnificent if we've fallen in love with the heroes and heroines. But the idea of writing about something brand new does provide me with new energy. So what do you think? Do you write or read the same old, same old frequently? Do you ever wish for something new and exotic? What haven't you read about that you wish you could find? Or what old standards do you never tire of? Safe, sane and consensual, Michelle

Fettered Love - The Preview

Thanks, thanks, thanks to our lovely Delphine Dryden for creating the brand new video book trailer for Fettered Love. It features so much awesomeness. Watch! Now!





Safe, sane and consensual,

Michelle

Wednesday Whips: The Challenge of Two Dominants

I write menage. I write BDSM. Combining them both I have to make specific choices about dominance and submission among the threesome so they can find their happily ever after together and keep their functioning triangle happy. My first novel, Bound Odyssey, involved a dominant female, a male switch (submissive to her), and a male submissive (sub to both my Domme and the male switch). Those dynamics solved the problem of what to do with two dominant characters involved in a poly triad. My lucky sub got both a Mistress and a Master. My Mistress got two subs and the switch got to, well, switch. Neither of the dominants had to express their love of one another from an equal position of power.

But the idea of two full dominants inside a working relationship of three fascinates me. How do they survive? How do they share? How do they express their love for one another? My recent release Fettered Love posed just that problem. Kirk, my dominant hero, had fallen in love with his best friend from childhood, Sarah, and dreamed of a life with her. Unfortunately, about the time he was discovering his identity as a Dom, she was discovering hers as a Domme. And it grated on him. They never could come to terms with their romantic love for one another. Fast forward ten plus years and the story action includes a male submissive, Evan. They both love him. And it turns out that they can cooperate fairly well to Top him. He's their missing link, so to speak.

Is this a realistic solution? There are a number of marriages in the kink community where both partners are Tops, love one another, and solve the problem by pursuing other submissives. I don't know how common it is that they share, but poly relationships come in all flavors. And even kinksters are allowed vanilla sex if they want it.

I came across a link to a hilarious YouTube video about the difficulties of two dominants cooperating. Again, the kink community has no problem laughing at itself, and the video below is a prime example. Enjoy. And let me know what you think about the reality of two dominants sharing a submissive. I think it might be both a submissive's heaven and hell. Talk about the need for coordination? Who has the ultimate word he must follow? Oy! I'm glad I don't have this problem.



Safe, sane and consensual, R.A.C.K., what have you,




Michelle

RomDom(me): The Appeal of the Romantic Dominant

The 1-800-DOM-help group is celebrating two releases in the series today with this post. Controlling Interest by Francesca Hawley and Fettered Love by Michelle Polaris. In honor of both, Francesca and Michelle dedicate this collaborative blog on BDSM and romance.

The Romantic Dom: Strength and Tenderness

When I first found EC shortly after they first began to publish, one of my first reads was a BDSM romance. I had to work myself up to ordering it…but once I did, it captured my imagination and so did the hero. BDSM was new to me then but the lifestyle spoke to me as a reader. My favorite part was the male dominant.

His appeal was his intensity. His complete focus on the heroine. The way that even though she was the submissive, he wanted to please her. To make her feel safe. Cherished. Protected. Yes, this is coming from a woman (me) who is a feminist and is perfectly capable of looking after herself, yet the thought that a man could take care of me and I could let him was a real eye opener. It seized my interest and teased my libido.

The idea of being protected and cherished appeal to me as a reader. Even better is the fact that in order for a relationship between a Dom and a sub to flourish, complete honesty and trust is absolutely necessary. No need to lie about what you think or fake an orgasm you didn’t have. Nope. He gets the unvarnished truth from you and you get the truth from him. I’m not completely sure I like the second part as much as the first, but hey, I can deal.

So, when I began writing erotic romance, I knew I wanted my heroes to be alpha males. In control and competent. My favorite archetype is the warrior and that definitely fits a dominant man. All of the heroes I’ve written have been dominant and their ladies like them that way. Like me, my heroines are talented women, but they enjoy letting the hero lead in the bedroom. It’s a turn-on for them and for the hero.

However, a vital fact here is that what I read and write is erotic ROMANCE. So that means that any alpha hero I write about must not only be dominant, but he must also be romantic. He must fall in love with the heroine and ache for her and with her. Writing an edgy, dominant man without turning him into an asshole requires some practice and a great character. I’ve been really fortunate to have some strong yet romantic dominant males seduce me into writing their stories.

The latest is Torin Stuart. A businessman with a sense of humor and a strong desire to make his BDSM club the best one out there anywhere. Forcing him into close quarters with Mouse, his late mother’s personal assistant, was a necessity. Thus Controlling Interest in the club was at the center of their intimate tug-of-war. Tor and Mouse have carried torches for each other for years and only now can they explore it. Tor, for all his tough practical nature, is actually a bit of a hopeless romantic. He wants to share his life with someone and when Mouse tells him a lie, he’s really hurt by it which turns him into a grumpy bear. But when they finally work through their problems, a happily ever after is definitely in the cards for Tor and Mouse.

The Romantic Domme: the feminine flip side.

Romance and Domination? How can a woman who ties up her lover, may use floggers, paddles, whips and other instruments of discipline, and make strict demands on his service, sexual or otherwise, be a romantic? Easily.

I've always considered males to be the more romantic gender. I don't know why. Maybe the image of knight gallants a-wooing. They bring chocolates, they bring flowers, they write love poetry. Yes, they do. I've received some in my day. But women, despite being extremely pratical, are also romantic.

First, I agree with Francesca that Dominants are loving, tender, and romantic because of how they cherish and protect their submissives. When a scene is done, it is most crucial that a Domme take care of her sub, tend to him physically and emotionally to make sure he transitions back to his normal state from whatever sub space he entered. Although a submissive exists to please his Domme, she in turn wants to please him.

We all realize by now (or at least I hope we do) that men are different from women. Men are much more physical animals. They are sexually focused. I propose that a Domme who is able to pay tribute to this sexuality, to provide a loving hand to her sub to meet his kinky needs, is honoring that sexual identity. She's not minimizing or objectifying the man, but being honest about his sexual focus. Meeting him on the terms that feed an important part of his soul. And isn't feeding the soul the stuff of romance? Although not all BDSM is sexual, there's ususally a sexual edge to it, and I am most interested in committed, loving, romantic BDSM relationships that include sex because that is what I write.

In my latest release, Fettered Love, my heroine, Sarah, cares deeply for Evan, her submissive lover from years ago. She crafts a careful scene to help him face his emotional injuries from the past. And when the tender, soft domination scene doesn't work, she knows her lover enough to go harder, edgier, to help him to his catharsis. The very epitome of tough love (grin). She's romantic in her honesty and devotion to helping Evan heal, no matter what it takes. I've posted the blurb below. This is a story of love rekindled between three former friends who had discovered BDSM together over a decade ago in college. I hope you enjoy this book, and the innately romantic focus of BDSM.

blurbs:

Controlling Interest

Mozelle “Mouse” Vincent inherits money, a club and her boss’ son as a business partner when society leader Regine Stuart dies. Torin Stuart knows what his late mother’s wishes were for his exclusive BDSM club, Erotically Bound, but he’s pissed that he’s forced to trust Mouse—especially when her inherently submissive nature arouses the sexual Dominant in him.

After baring all in a heated, intense scene, Mouse realizes they still have to work together, but now Tor challenges any business suggestion she makes. When she wants to offer education classes, Tor dares her to organize the class and participate—as a submissive.

To his chagrin, Mouse agrees, but he can’t stand the thought of any other Dom touching her. Suddenly there’s far more at stake than the controlling interest in their club…because love is the ultimate prize in their power exchange.

Fettered Love

Kirk, Master to his long-time lover Evan, decides it’s time to place his permanent collar around Evan’s sexy cock. But when he proposes, he faces a surprise. Evan wants a child. So where will they find a kinky woman to help?

A mysterious card with the 1-800-DOM-help number advertises assistance for unusual problems in the BDSM community. When Evan calls, he recognizes the voice of Sarah—Kirk’s best friend from childhood, Evan’s Mistress of several years in college. They both loved her and suffered betrayal when she walked out of their lives.

Now she proposes to be the mother of their child. No strings, just a chance to have the men she respects and loves back in her life. Evan embraces the idea while Kirk rages with mistrust.

At Evan’s request, they share one night of passion, Kirk and Sarah working together to dominate Evan in the scene of his erotic fantasies, hoping it will be enough to rekindle trust and make all their dreams come true.

Wednesday Whips: Motivated by My New Cover!

Finally, here is the cover for my 1-800-DOM-help release, Fettered Love. I'm partial to it although I'm not a lover of latex myself. I'm the leather type. Fettered Love is due for release on Friday, January 28th. Just around the corner. Here's the book blurb for your reading enjoyment:

Kirk, Master to his long-time lover Evan, decides it's time to place his permanent collar around Evan's sexy cock. But when he proposes he faces a surprise. Evan wants a child. So where will they find a kinky woman to help?

A mysterious card with the 1-800-DOM-help number advertises assistance for unusual problems in the BDSM community. When Evan calls he recognizes the voice of the Mistress from their past. Sarah--Kirk's best friend from childhood--Evan's Mistress of several years in college. They loved her and suffered betrayal when she walked out of their lives.

Now she proposes to be the mother of their child. No strings, just a chance to have the men she respected and loved back in her life. Evan embraces the idea while Kirk rages with mistrust.

At Evan's request they share one night of passion, Kirk and Sarah working together to dominate Evan in the scene of his erotic fantasies. But will it be enough to rekindle trust and make all their dreams come true?

So if you pick it up, please tell me what you think. It's the first contemporary I've written. Although I find real life, no matter how mundane, always contains just a lick of magic. *wink*

Safe, sane and consensual

Michelle

BDSM - the perfect romantic fodder

Okay, I admit I posted the above pic just because it's one of my favorites. I've posted it in other places before, but what better site than on a blog devoted to BDSM stories. I'm Michelle Polaris, one of the authors creating tales for our brand new 1-800-Dom-help series collaboration. I write exclusively BDSM erotic romance and have two books out with Ellora's Cave, Bound Odyssey (a futuristic m/m/f menage) and Magician's Chains (a m/m contemporary fantasy).

Although I'm still finishing my story for the 1-800-Dom-help series (as yet unapproved working title Fettered Love), I wanted to discuss a topic near and dear to my heart: how the subject of BDSM is the perfect fodder to use in romance stories. What better way to get at the topics of trust, communication, honesty, and healing of the past psychic wounds of our heroes and heroines than by laying it out there explicitly as is intended in the BDSM scene. When people play with one another in this lifestyle, it is common and highly recommended to explicitly negotiate contracts between play partners about their boundaries, their kink interests, and the limits to activities they will and will not agree to try. This includes situations straddling the cusp of those limits. The issues of power exchange are laid bare between involved parties -- who gives up their power and who takes the power -- in a way that is seldom discussed in vanilla relationships where you'd be a fool to think power was not an issue. The idea that partners must trust one another is blatantly paid tribute in the BDSM world. And the healthy acceptance of the wide spectrum of human sexuality is acknowledged.

I'm also a big believer in the symbolic and cathartic power of playing out scenes involving trust between partners. As a writer I like to develop characters with wounds from childhood. Inevitably this involves betrayal or abandonment or abuse of some time. I know, very dark, but it's the burden of angst I bear. A powerful BDSM scene between protagonists can draw out that pain and act as a corrective force, a healing force. And the scenes are very intense, wrenching the heart. There is a lot of room for characters to demonstrate in the clearest way possible that even when there is pain there can be love, and that trust will not be betrayed.

So if you're looking for light reading fare, you probably don't want my books. But if you marvel at the ways honest, loving relationships can heal the soul in the face of adversity, then check out my past stories and or any of the 1-800-Dom-help stories from our group of talented authors.

And chime in with your opinion about the use of BDSM in romance. What does it mean for you? Certainly it's freakin' hot, all character growth aside.

Safe, sane and consensual folks--

Michelle