Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Voyeurism isn’t something that’s talked about for the most part, but without those exhibitionists, what would voyeurs do? Having sex in a public setting isn’t just for those who want that extra added thrill of possibly getting caught. People having sex in public must know there is the very real possibility that voyeurs are around and paying attention.
Perhaps that’s why there’s at least one voyeuristic scene in most porn movies. Voyeurism is titillation in more than one way. It’s not just the people being spied upon who are aroused by the actions involved. Frequently, however, those being spied on don’t know they’re being watched. That’s the thrill for the voyeur.
Personally? Don’t know that I would have sex in public – participating in a scene in a private club is one thing, having sex in public or in front of a group of people is entirely another. Voyeurism? The idea of that doesn’t bother me as much.
Friday, May 6, 2011
|God I miss Ann Richards...|
The comments to stories like these inevitably include at least one "Why doesn't Texas secede already? Good riddance!" But y'all, there are tolerant people here too, and some of us thought that Glee episode (which also dealt with a character finally acknowledging a serious mental illness) was awesome. Glib, sure, and too tidy. Because it's TV, and TV is like that. But the theme for the week, and for the show in general, was still valid. Own your givens, the things you didn't ask for but were just handed in life. If you try to conceal them, whether from yourself or others, at some point they will come to own you; acknowledge them, and you can deal openly with them.
|Not new information, but still awesome to see|
The closing scene, a rousing rendition of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way", also features each Glee member wearing a self-made t-shirt with their unasked-for given/flaw/worst feature/challenge/etc. written on it. Kurt's says, in big bold letters, LIKES BOYS. Emma's, at long last, says OCD (the best t-shirts are Brittney and Santana's, but I digress).
In the real world, and as grownups, we would probably all need more than one shirt to do that sort of labeling job. But I know mine right now would be a toss-up between KINKY, READS AND WRITES TRASHY ROMANCE NOVELS, and CLINICAL DEPRESSION, I HAZ IT :-( . Okay, also SHORT but that's pretty much self-evident if you've ever met me. Only one of those is within my power to stop, in my opinion, and it's not "kinky". Which brings me to my question(s):
|This is funny but not always true, by the way|
Okay, and also - what's on your shirt?
And while you're thinking about all that, watch this: Isn't Chris Colfer the most adorable thing ever?
Thursday, May 5, 2011
In thinking about my blog post today, I searched for a picture to put up of a whip. Did you know floggers and crops all come up in that search? Why? They are definitely different implements. Ah, but they are all used for a similar purpose--spanking. Yep, they are all types of spanking implements.
Rosy Cheeks), domestic discipline (punishment from a HOH--head of household), and everything in between like spanking fetishists. The spanking is between consenting adults where a dominant spanks his or her submissive partner. Usually for the "spankee", the spanking is cathartic and/or the pain jump starts their arousal. (Pain is very close to pleasure.) After all, a red bottom gets the blood flowing to that portion of the body, thus enhancing sexual sensitivity. Keep in mind there are those people who crave the spanking without the sexual contact. They crave the endorphin rush, plain and simple.
All implements, including the hand, need some practice before using on a partner, no matter how willing they may be. Without practice, someone can get hurt.
And as for the whip demo... I got a single tail black leather whip (below).
You can bet my 1-800-DOM-help book will have a whip wielding FemDomme....
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Clamps are an old BDSM standby; one of the most commonly used play toys after whips. And so of course they appear in many BDSM erotic romance stories. They are low effort on a Dom(me)'s part once they are placed on a submissive's body. They can be as inexpensive as the ordinary spring clothespins most commonly used, though many other items can be hijacked for the same purpose: paper clips, mousetraps, tubing clamps, small vise grip pliers. Ouch! I know I always feature a selection of clamps in my stories. Many clamps have a somewhat flat surface to prevent damage. Alligator clamps (saw-tooth) are more likely to do damage as they cut into skin.
It's wonderful to be able to adjust the tightness of a clamp if you can purchase or rig ones with this ability. Different submissives vary in the amount of tightness they find erotic. Although if yours are not adjustable, you can always stock a variety that have different degrees of tightness. In addition, if you are using them on male nipples you will have an added challenge if the man has particularly small nubs. Smaller clothespins will be a must, although they also sell nipple clamps that take this problem into consideration.
Popular spots to try your clamps? Nipples, genitals, ear lobes, lips, folds of skin on your neck, belly button, and your perineum. Trying them out on yourself is always a good idea to gain understanding of what a sub will be experiencing. Don't forget that clamps hurt continuously. Most folks, according to Jay Wiseman's classic SM101: A Realistic Introduction, can take about four clamps for up to a half-hour. Since they hurt non-stop, a good dominant with NEVER forget that they are on their submissive and let too much time pass. Clamps cut off circulation to the pinched area. The very longest to leave on a clamp in one area is an hour, although I am sure this point can be debated.
Another important point--only apply clamps if a submissive is feeling aroused. The more turned on someone is, the more pain they can take. This is also important to remember when you are removing the clamps. Don't let too much time pass after orgasm, or simply remove them before orgasm, to ensure sexual excitement is still balancing out the pain. Clamps hurt like a son of a bitch coming off because the blood is rushing back to the tissue and re-expanding it. This is particularly true of clamped nipples. They should be removed gradually and since clamped tissue is sensitive to movement, you should keep the area still during removal. And don't rub freshly unclamped skin. It hurts more.
So why clamps? If you provide a lot of sexual stimulation after you have pinched on those lovelies, then you are providing a delightful contrast between sexual pleasure and erotic pain. Mixing that pain with prolonged sexual pleasure makes a deep impression in a submissive's mind.
Want some other tidbits on clamp types, placement, and safety? Check out that Jay Wiseman text I mentioned. SM 101: A Realistic Introduction. It's a classic.
Safe, sane and consensual,
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Whenever I look for interesting photos of BDSM elements, I see a pattern emerge. Red shoes, black shoes. Black shoes with red flames. Black boots, red boots. No offense to the dear man, but it begins to sound like a Dr. Suess book! One shoe, two shoes, red shoes, black shoes.
What do these shoes and boots have to do with the scene? I'd have to say it's the way they make us feel. Even if all you are doing tonight is dressing up as a naughty maid, think about it. How naughty would you feel in a pair of sneakers, versus stilettos? Flip flops versus thigh-hugging boots?
As a Domme, you want the appearance of sexy power. Assuming you can stand in them without wobbling, killer heels gives you that feeling, and if you feel sexy, you can throw off sexy vibes.
We have so many classes of shoe in our daily lives: comfy, sensible, work, exercise, heel, flat. And in my case, lime green. (Yes, I have more than a dozen pairs of lime shoes. I took to heart the selling point "it's the new black"!) When you plan your outfit, for the boardroom or the bedroom, don't forget to choose the perfect shoe. It can make or break your day.