Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Wednesday Whips: Male Chastity

One flavor of kink that rarely shows up in erotic romance stories is male chastity. Male chastity can be a great motivator for a gentleman's attentiveness to his partner. This practice usually encompasses a woman enclosing a man's genitals in a cagelike device (of which there are a plethora of types) to prevent stimulation and erection, keeping him locked away often for long periods of time to keep him on edge in his orgasm denial. Teasing him is, of course, encouraged. The female partner holds the key to the lock on the chastity devices. The details of the arrangement between the partners vary to their tastes, because if it isn't what floats their particular boat, why bother. There's never any one way to be kinky. Many couples choose this chastity lifestyle, and it is not limited to those who identify as part of the BDSM scene. I've read a number of blogs written both from the woman's and man's perspective in these ventures. Here are a few links if you want to take a look:

and a general link that acts as a warehouse for the variety of chastity blogs out there:

But there's a reason, I believe, male chastity rarely shows up in BDSM or kinky erotic romance. In most cases the sexual and emotional pay offs of the characters in an erotic romance are tied up in their eventual sexual consummation. The metaphoric power (and very real gritty pleasure) of the orgasm is something a reader expects between the lovers at some point. And a novel or novella or short story that takes place during a limited period of time may not be able to reflect the sexiness of fantasies about long term orgasm denial.

There are a number of kinky topics that are usually discouraged by the publishers of erotic romance in BDSM stories. These include water sports or scat play, bestiality (not shape shifting stuff guys), rape in the non-consensual, non-fantasy role-play meaning, and sexual scenarios involving children. I never see enema play, gender play or pony or doggy play featured in the primary relationships in BDSM romance stories. (Maybe as some background stuff involving non-primary characters) Neither is there much verbal humiliation used by Dom's of their sub's in these books. There is other erotic literature out there that do include these topics, but perhaps its more fair saying these subjects don't crop up (not talking about crops used in discipline scenes) in mainstream erotic romance publishing houses. Now that sounds funny. Mainstream erotic romance? I'm not just talking vanilla stories here, because stories like the ones in our series are anything but vanilla. But the wonderful customers at Ellora's Cave may read the fetish and kinky stuff without it being part of their own sexual identity. And certain aspects of a D/s lifestyle appeal more to them than others. Certain fantasies do not fit the expectations of the mainly female readerships' love affair with alpha males (even if these males are sexual submissives).

Reader tastes expand as time goes on. So maybe there's hope for creative use of long term male chastity as a story element in the future. I'll think about how to tackle that hurdle. But what other kinky topics seem a poor fit for BDSM erotic romance as it stands? Ideas?

Safe, sane and consensual or RACK, take your pick.



  1. Great post, Michelle! I could totally read a story about this and enjoy it, so I don't think it would be a poor fit for BDSM erotic romance - if it was written a certain way. In fact, I recently wrote a story tentatively titled Chastity Belt about a female sub's tease & denial, and of course, she wears a chastity belt. Still, I think a story about a man in a chastity belt could be very hot ;)

  2. Very interesting post. I have never heard of this.