Friday, March 18, 2011

Waxing Poetic and Feeling the Burn...

When I was a kid I was fascinated by candles. The way they flickered in the darkness. The way the wax pooled around the wick. I used to run my finger into the hot wax then watch while it hardened on my fingertip. I'd dip my finger again and again watch, fascinated, while the wax went from liquid to solid. The sting and heat held an appeal all their own. Well, I didn't know it, but I'd discovered a budding interest in wax play. 

Because you're literally playing with fire, you have to be very careful when you indulge in wax play. First, and most obviously--the flame itself. In order to not burn your house down, anyone indulging in this kind of BDSM play has to plan for fire control - not just orgasm control. Have a fire extinguisher handy. Second, wax is hot stuff - some waxes are hotter than others. Make sure you have ice and burn ointment handy. Remember, safety is a good thing. After you've handled the basics you can move on to setting the scene.

Wax sticks to everything. And it doesn't come out of fabric or hair very well. To protect fabric get a vinyl shower curtain from a local discount store and spread it over your play area. The sub's hair should get pulled back and tucked away.

In researching this I've discovered one important thing. No matter how nice it smells, don't use beeswax. It just burns too hot and while you want to feel the don't want to experience burn. There is a distinction, however fine it might be.

Preferred waxes - parafin and/or soy based. Both have a fairly low melting point and are therefore less likely to cause burns. Parafin is easy to get and is pretty inexpensive.

In fact, you can go into the grocery story (to the canning section) and pick up a nice block of parafin, if pouring will be involved. There are wax heaters available for therapeutic parafin baths/dips. You can even use a crock pot IF it has a variety of settings. Look for a simmer setting. And ALWAYS...but ALWAYS test the wax on yourself before you start your pour/drip/play. If candles are your thing then use votives, pillars and taper candles for different...effects.

Avoid scents. The oils used to add the scent to the candle will make the wax melt at a higher temperature, so burns become possible. Colors also affect the melting point. Red candles burn hotter than white ones. Players can adjust the heat of the wax by how high above the sub the top begins the drip/pour process.

Grendelkhan, author

Be sure to avoid puddles because they can cause the drippee to be burned. Spots like the belly button or the vagina need special care. Removing the wax after play can be a bit tricky. A plastic spatula...or if the top wants to inject some mindfuck into the game, a dull knife can be used to scrape the hardened wax off the bottom.

The heat. The impact of the drips. The mindgame of the flame and the blade. All of these combine to create an intensely intimate experience between the participants. Sigh. Off to write a really hot love/sex scene now. I'm inspired.

What do you think? Would you be the dripper or the drippee? Are you fascinated by flame and wax which combine to provide a truly exciting experience for adventurous lovers?  


  1. Interesting kink. I guess another twist on the pleasure and pain thing. but with care bec. if too hot, wax could cause burns and scars. Ouch. Cool pic.

  2. I love wax play. A lot. :) I'm definitely the drippee, thanks. What a fun non-word. :)

  3. Fun both if the drippee can see the next drip coming and enjoy the expecation building, and if they are blindfolded and have no idea when and where it's coming.

  4. Kathy, You're right. You really have to be careful because burns are NOT a good pain. I found the image in the Wikipedia commons. If you click on the image, it links back.

    Arwen, I'm with you. Getting dripped on is seriously all ways. Grin.

    Michelle, good points. It's all part of the mindgame that a top can play with the bottom. It would be exciting either way. The anticipation operates differently but it gets the players aroused...completely.

  5. Great post. I'm not sure, depends on the situation. I've recently read a good Wax Play scene in an Evangeline Anderson book and I wanted to know more. Thank You for the info. :-)