Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Taking Breaks

It is exhausting to be part of a D/s relationship 24/7. Some people crave this, and for the right partners, it works. But human relationships are human relationships and they ebb and flow. Particularly committed ones. They take care, they take hard work, they take attention, and at times they need to downshift.

Many partners take breaks away from an active D/s dynamic with one another. If they have built a mundane, vanilla life together they may need to retreat to focus on other parts of that life. Or even retreat to focus on self-care if they've hit a low point or particular stress. There is such a thing as burn-out for those involved in the kink scene for extended periods of time. People actively participate and then back off for a time, and this comes as no surprise to me.

I began to think of the little ways partners keep reminders of a kinky lifestyle alive and well during these break periods. Foot massages. Toe nails polished. Dishes done nightly without asking. A favorite treat picked up at the market. A playful swat or pinch on the rear. Come to think of it, these are the same gestures that any loving couple might make to show appreciation. Although it may be without subtext for a vanilla partnership. But these little gestures keep us connected and get us through the mundane work (sometimes even drudgery) of life. They let us keep the flickering of the flame alive and well for when the time is right to stoke the fire and build the inferno once more.

Then, pull out the whip, baby, and get it started.

As enticing as it is to read a kinky erotic romance and imagine the partners constantly embroiled in the sensual, spiritual, emotional and sexually exciting world of BDSM, I'm exhausted when I stop to imagine it. Sometimes the heroes and heroines just need to go out for an ice cream cone. In the end, we love them more for it.

Have a good night's rest everyone.

Safe, sane and consensual,


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