Can an Alpha male be submissive?

Does an Alpha male truly lose control and power if he submits?

I got a chuckle out of Del's post here. I don't feel like a whip wielding she-wolf in boots and a corset. LOL

As I write Leather Becomes Her, my story is of a dominant woman meeting her submissive, but the submissive hero in the book is NOT a beta. My question is, can a man who is Alpha be submissive? Does submission change his role from Alpha to beta?


Alpha men can be macho to the world. You'd be surprised at how the power wielding men of society prefer to be brought down in private by submitting. (And some PAY professional Dominants to do it. It has nothing to do with sex, just submission.) They aren't less Alpha for doing it; their ability to submit makes them stronger. Imagine the lawyer in court fighting a hard case, arguing for his client, butting heads with judges, lawyers, police, etc. Every day, all day, long hours into late nights, week in and week out. They aren't out to please anyone. They want their way in all things. Win, win, win. These are men of sheer power and dominance--total Alpha males. Many times what does this kind of man wish for in private? Release. The joy of not making any decisions. Letting someone else take control and use him so he can relax. His only desire--to please a dominant figure (in my example, a Mistress).

So does submitting make an Alpha role switch to beta? (Urban Dictionary defines beta male as "An unremarkable, careful man who avoids risk and confrontation. Beta males lack the physical presence, charisma and confidence of the Alpha male.")

I don't think submission makes an Alpha man weak. I know quite a few Alpha personalities, men and women, who enjoy submission. Submission doesn't make one weak. It takes a lot of strength to let go taboos, outward appearances and expectations.

Imagine the lawyer again, all conservative looking...strip off his outer layers (suit) and bare him naked. What do you see? Toned muscles? Tattoos? (Okay, my personal preference there...ahem.) He still looks macho yet he immediately feels vulnerable. Does he want to run? Yes. Will he? No. Why? Because he has strength to keep him there as his Mistress desires. His urge to please Her overwhelms everything else. He will take whatever She desires--whip to the back, spanking over the knee, bondage, clothespins to the cock and balls, cleaning her house, licking her feet, etc. He doesn't say no. He doesn't shove Her away. He wants to please Her. That takes strength!

Once his service is complete, he is once again in control. Wait? Did he really lose control? He was controlled by Her, but he had a choice. He remained subservient. Did he have to? No. Isn't his choice to remain at her feet really just internal control as opposed to external?

He was released from his worldy responsibilities and outer appearance as the dominant male of power. His external control was stripped away like the clothes from his body, however, he internalized his power and strength to serve his Mistress, whatever her desire.

So, in my opinion, an Alpha male remains Alpha. He never loses strength or control, he merely changes the focus from outward power and strength in succeeding (money, career, education, etc) to internal control from running away like a coward.

The Submissive Male -- Misunderstood

I have been reading quite a bit about the ongoing devaluation of the submissive male in society. The discussion goes something like this. Our culture views a male who gives up his power as pathetic, lacking strength, and an object of derision. And dominant women must really be women who have not found the correct male to whom to submit. There are manly Dom's who treat some of my fellow female dominants this way, continuing to view them as potential conquests. Because of this it may be more difficult for submissive men to be in mixed public play environments with some male dominants making the above judgements of them. Although I am sure there are plenty of submissive men secure enough in their desires and strengths to not give a shit. Still. It is why an exclusively FemDom club or party is a valuable resource.

I have been following an interesting series of interviews of submissive males by a blogging Domme (Dishevelled Domina,) including the latest entry by Tom Allen who does the blog The Edge of Vanilla. (I also highly recommend his blog.)

I find his answers fascinating and urge you to read the interview. And for good measure, visit Maymay's Male Submission Art blog, his on-going effort to explore the strength and beauty in male submission and challenge these stereotypes.

I know I've written about this topic before, but it is near and dear to me. And for those who write and read BDSM which includes that alluring alpha submissive man, I think the topic is point on.

Safe, sane and consensual,

Michelle