Thursday, June 30, 2011

The pervasion of perversion

...meh. You're pretty but I just
don't want to do you.
Or even whip you or whatever.

(pic from Male Submission Art)
Much as I enjoy Mari's and Michelle's posts, I do find it interesting how many Dommes are flying their freak flags here at 1-800-DOM-help. My own wiring being quite the other way, I've been trying recently to figure out the Domme mindset and I think it just comes to this: to me, submissive men may be cute, may be adorable, may make me want to pinch their cheeks and rumple their hair a little...but I just don't want to have sex with them. Submissive girls either. Sorry ladies, I tried. On the other hand I am cheerfully queer for dominant gals, because it's the Dom-ness, not the equipment downstairs, that matters.

On the other hand,
yes please.
I got to thinking about this wiring thing while reading a mainstream review of a mainstream romance the other day, when the (I'm assuming vanilla) reviewer complained that the hero was neither Alpha nor beta. This cracked me up because let's face it, outside the bdsm world, most men aren't either of those things. They're just guys, they like to have sex, they might have some habits that tend one direction or the other but they're mostly just in the middle. And in the vanilla romance novel world, until recently, the only acceptable flavor for heroes seemed to be Alpha. Lately I've seen more beta heroes, and I wonder if this increase isn't somehow related to the influx of Dommes on the kinky romance side of things. Not so much causally related, but part of the same move toward accepting the full range of possibility when it comes to sexual preference. Because the horizons are opening up in Romancelandia, there's just a bit more of something for everyone out there. I find that awesome.

Even though this does result in vanilla reviewers giving us some WTF reviews, I can't complain.

Seriously though, y'all...where are the other subs? Because lately I feel a bit like the only lamb in a room full of (incredibly sexy, corseted, whip-wielding) wolves (in killer black boots). A potentially very, very happy lamb, mind you...but a little backup would be nice.

Hey, wait a minute...did somebody gag all the other subs? *attempts a stern glare*


  1. Poor Del. We'll get you your own gag too, darling. (LOL!)

    I'd like to take credit for the appearance of more betas in mainstream romance, but I am not at all sure that this is the case. I simply think the preponderance of real men in the world leading real relationships with real women has driven the change. Like you noted. As much as women might like to fantasize about their alpha males (Well, those other gals at least.), I also think the best romance reflects just enough reality to help women dream that the romance could indeed happen to them. Get too many alpha males in attendance too much of the time and the dreams become decidedly unreachable. Plus, it's just damn draining. And like all trends, it shifts and changes. Women like to try new things, new ideas, new glimpses of different types of personality and sexuality. I think that explains the upswing in BDSM erotic romance reading even among the vanilla crowd. Alpha males are getting old. Not that they will ever be completely replaced.

    As for the loud, overly present Domme's around here, we haven't really invested in gags. I guess we're waiting for more pushy subs to speak up. Go ahead. Make my day.

  2. Oh sure. I know a test when I see one, ma'am, I'm not gonna go topping from the bottom, all demanding stuff! Besides, no gags for me...TMJ :-(

    I know what you mean about the reality component, which is why I usually write males who aren't as alpha as some wish they might be. I like there to be more give than that, and I think it's all too easy to deliver a cardboard cutout alpha hero whom none of us would like at all in real life. That's never done it for me. Gimme a cruel-to-be-kind softspoken alpha who rocks at aftercare, every time :-D