I'm reposting the list of Top Ten Things You Will Never Hear A Sub Say To Their Master/Mistress below with full credit to Aleister Blacke. Visit the BDSM Humor site for more guffaws.
So here goes the top ten--
#10: How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to put your leather pants in the washer?
#09: Yeah, right... SPANK THIS!
#08: Tomorrow night, I get to tie you up, right?
#07: God, you Dom's think the world should bow before you!
#06: And just what do you think you are going to do with that paddle?
#05: Sorry, I got a date tomorrow night. Some other time, perhaps?
#04: Spanking? I-THINK-NOT!
#03: Who died and left you in charge?
#02: Do your own damn laundry!
and the #1 thing you will never hear a sub say to their Master...
#01: What do I look like, your maid?