Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me! Contest & Control issues

Hi everyone, I'm Francesca Hawley, one of the 1800DOMhelp line-up of authors and today (October 20) is my birthday.

To celebrate, I'm going to give some presents away to a reader who comments on my blog post. The winning reader will win the combo-pack pictured to the left: a pocket Kama Sutra, a cherry Lollicock, and a print copy of my medieval erotic romance, Seeking Truth. I chose Seeking Truth, because there are some light BDSM elements within the story, so it fit with our theme here. To be included in the contest, post your comment by by 7 a.m. CST on October 21. I'll announce the winner on October 21 around noon CST. I'm also running a contest to celebrate my birthday at Authors by Moonlight - different prize there. So get in the running twice!

Now, lets talk bondage and control. Why do I like to write BDSM? Because restraint is just plain hot. When I first found Ellora's Cave back in the early years of the company (somewhere around 2002/2003) some of the first stories I read involved bondage. The idea of giving away your power by trusting another person to bind you really floated my boat as a reader. It was exciting and naughty all at once. Once I started writing erotic romance, BDSM was always in the back of my mind as an area I wanted to explore. I just had to work out what attracted me so much so I could create believable characters and situations for them to master.

As Michelle discussed in her post, the dynamics of BDSM encompass a power exchange. The bottom submits, giving up control to a top who runs the scene. One of the most basic and straightforward ways to take control and submit to the control of another is by being bound. Once you're tied up you just have to lay there and take it...right?

So...the one tied up is submitting and the one doing the tying is dominating. But who is really in control? If the bottom says their safeword, play is done. And that's the way it should be, so that makes the power exchange a really fine line for both the dominant and submissive to negotiate. It's the tension inherent in the power exchange that intrigues me and a major reason I love to read and to write BDSM stories.

So far, my dominants are male and my submissives are female, but at some point I'll change that up. My heroes tend to be warriors and protectors, so they play by the rule of safe, sane and consensual, even if they don't know that's how they roll. My medieval hero, Eaduin Kempe won't take any woman to his bed if she refuses to consent. For a medieval Baron, that's unusual. Barons could take what they wanted from whoever they wanted (shy of the King), particularly in the 1100s. But my knight lives and breathes chivalry. Even so, he still gets off on topping my heroine, Vérité. The good part is she enjoys what he dishes out and she consents to being bound and blindfolded. Spanked. And she'd go for pretty much anything else he'd like to suggest, too. As I said, this story is primarily BDSM elements - not a full-on lifestyle story - but if anyone could carry off the lifestyle, Eaduin could. Can ya tell I kind of love the guy? grin

I'm equally excited about the hero of Controlling Interest, my story for the 1800DOMhelp series. Torin Stuart keeps his emotions under tight restraints, but there's one woman who can get under his skin...Mozelle Vincent, aka Mouse. Tor has had the hots for Mouse for several years, but she was working as his mother's personal assistant so she was off limits. When the situation changes, Tor and Mouse face off over the management of his BDSM club and control becomes an all-consuming issue for them both.

So, what elements of BDSM really intrigue you? Is it the power exchange total package? Being bound and helpless? Taking control? Or something else entirely? Let me know what you think and be in the running for a Lollicock of your very own and oh yeah, a damned hot dominant hero, too.

24 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday, Francesca!! I hope you have an amazing day, sweetie.

    *does a snoopy dance*

    I love the trust and control factors in BDSM. It's certainly not something I'd let any old person do.

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  2. Happy Birthday, Cesca! Nice post too! I still need to figure out what I'm gonna write for the series!

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  3. Happy Birthday, Francesca! Your past book sounds great and you know I'm looking forward to Controlling Interest. It's a special gift to trust someone enough to let them bind you, and very hot as you said. Enjoy your day and treat yourself to a little fun.

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  4. Happy Birthday Francesca! Can't wait to read your books.

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  5. Happy birthday, Francesca! I'm looking forward to reading this series. My BDSM books have been on the light side but the overriding theme has been about discovery of self, of the things you want and what you're willing to do to win the person you love. So yeah, control is the hot part, but delving into the characters' psyche is what I think is really hot.

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  6. Happy Birthday Francesca!!! I like the thought of someone you trust having power of you


    meandi09@yahoo.com

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  7. Christine - Thanks for the good wishes. Trust is definitely a huge issue and it's one of the most interesting too.

    Delilah - Thanks for stopping by. You have a gift for coming up with great ideas! I'll look forward to reading your story.

    Michelle - thanks for commenting. Yes, trust is definitely a special gift...a good birthday gift. Grin. Now THAT gives me ideas. Wink.

    Pookietoes - I appreciate having you visit the blog. I hope you enjoy my stories - let me know. I love to hear from readers.

    Lex - GREAT points - the character growth and interaction really works hand in hand with the control issues to make a story sizzle. Thanks for sharing!

    Jennifer - Thanks for visiting the blog today to celebrate my birthday. I agreee that giving yourself to someone you trust is really exciting.

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  8. Happy Birthday, Francesca. Wonderful post. The whole BDSM scene is intriguing. After reading your post, I may have to do a little studying on the subject and see if I can get into writing one myself. On second thought, maybe I'll just read yours. They're fantastic!

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  9. Happy B-Day!!! Thanks for the great post!!!

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  10. Happy birthday, Francesca, and thanks for sharing it with us!

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  11. Maggie- Thanks for visiting the blog and for the compliment. I'm sure you could write BDSM if it was something that intrigued you. But if not, I'm happy to share my books with you.

    Alanarose - I appreciate the good wishes. Thanks!

    Ari - thanks for stopping by my birthday party and I'm looking forward to your contribution to the 1800DOMhelp series!

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  12. Happy Birthday Francesca..may your day be everything you want it to be. Thanks for sharing your day with us and also giving us the gifts. susan L.

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  13. Susan - thanks for the good wishes. Hope you enjoyed the blog!

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  14. Happy birthday, Francesca! Don't put me in the drawing. :) I already have your hot book and love it.

    What thrills me about is the giving up of control. It's the power exchange between two equals where one willing submits to the other. Yum!

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  15. Arwen, I love that part too. It's the sexy surrender that keeps me coming back for more.

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  16. Happy Birthday Francesca!!
    Very informative post. I'm still undecided as to if I'm a fan of BDSM or not, it's hard to get past the catholic guilt ;-)

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  17. Happy Birthday!

    I think it's the control issue, the sexy surrender as you put it, and the trust exhibited by both partners.

    ironss[at]gmail.com

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  18. Venus - thanks for visiting the blog - and you know I'd think BDSM would be great for Catholic guilt. What's better than a spanking or being flogged to help someone work off their guilt? Grin

    Sheree - You're right. The trust has to go both ways. The one surrendering has to trust the person dominating them. But the dominant has to trust the submissive not to freak out and accuse them of abuse. That kind of trust is very special and very intimate.

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  19. Happy Birthday Francesca.....great blog.

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  20. I like the idea of being bound and the submissive aspect but knowing that I still have the upper hand. Sometimes when you are the supermom, it's nice to dream about giving up control. That's part of why I love to read BDSM.
    Have a happy birthday. My niece's is on the 21st.

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  21. Happy birthday!!!
    I think it is trust. You trust that person to pleasure you not hurt you and it is giving up control. You have to trust someone alot to be able to be their sub and to give them control over you. Not many people trust that deeply.
    deslauree3 at aol dot com

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  22. Happy birthday, Francesca! I think part of the appeal is the idea that you trust someone enough to entrust your body and pleasure to him or her--that's a very intimate thing that heightens the emotional connection so that it isn't merely sex.

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  23. Happy Birthday!!!!
    It is trust. They trust that person soo much with everything. Not alot of people can let go and trust like that. I am kind of envious.
    deslauree3 at aol dot com

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  24. Deanne - Thanks for the birthday wishes and I'm glad you visited.

    orelukjp0 - I agree that giving up control to someone is sometimes a relief and a real gift from your partner. Happy Birthday to your niece.

    Desi - Thanks for visiting. You're right - the deep trust inherent in a BDSM relationship is really attractive.

    flchen1 - Control and trust really do come back to enhanced intimacy between the partners in the relationship. The increased intimacy certainly draws me as a reader, and as a writer too.

    Thanks to everyone who stopped by to share their comments and celebrate my birthday. I really appreciate it! I'll post the winner later this morning!

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