Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Shy Girls’ Guide to Finding Your Fetish

While surfing the Internet (when of course I was supposed to be writing!)…well, actually I was doing research for my next story (**wink wink**) I came across the most interesting site. A guide for shy women who deep down want to find their personal fetish.I found Emily Dubberly, the perfect person to be your guide. Dubberley has tested more than 500 sex toys, worked as a lube taster and engaged in any number of depraved activities in the name of study -- think sploshing, working as a dominatrix and attending an orgy. Yes, the lady has experience. Here are her tips for discovering a fetish (or rolling with the one that began when you watched "Secretary").
If you’re a bookworm, she says, you’re already ahead of the game. Just spice up your library with…well, spicy books. Read the stories. Look for what turns you on. Go ahead. You’re in your room by yourself so anything goes.
The next thing is to find a partner to try out your fetish with. Got a significant other you’ve been dying to make suggestions to? Your husband too predictable in bed and you want to shake him up? Gone to a munch where you met a guy you’d just love to tell about your fetish?
All good, as long as your partner is someone you trust.
Into bondage? Really, really think you’d like to give it a try? Enroll in a beginner’s class given by someone with good credentials. Again, the important words are safe and trust.
Want to just try a few things in the privacy of your own room? Check out the closest adult pleasure store. Trust me, no one will even pay attention to you browsing all the interesting items on display. They’re all busy studying what they want!!! Pick out what you like and take it home with you. Then it’s a matter of seeing what gives you the biggest sexual high, whether it’s stroking yourself with fur or using a toy you’ve never tried before.
But when making fantasy a reality, there are a few key rules, especially if you’re trying out your ideas with a partner. Don't be drunk, high or without a safe word. Your physical and mental health are at stake -- fetish acts can bring many underlying issues to the surface -- and you don't want that bottle of wine to mask any danger.
But the door to erotic enchantment is wide open to you. Go ahead. Open it. You’ll love what’s on the other side.
Come visit me at
And check out all the books in the 1-800-DOMHelp series. You can find them at Ellora's Cave

1 comment:

  1. Good advice Desiree. There are so many opportunities to explore one's sexual identity today. But books are an easy and safe way to do it. Gee, I don't know why we authors would have this bias?