Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Tuesday Toys: Aids That Every Woman Appreciates

It is I, Ari, once again delving into the history of one of the best toys man has ever created - the vibrator. Admittedly, long before they were used to treat female hysteria, dildos and later vibrators were used by men, either on themselves or with male and/or female partners. But that’s a whole nuther story!

Early man obviously had his priorities straight. According to stone objects found by archeologists, the dildo predates wheel, dating to about 30,000 years ago! Manual labor sufficed until the mid-nineteenth century when steam, and later electrical vibrators were introduced.

At some point they became common household items and man realized woman was a lot nicer to be around when she was able to keep her hysteria under control. In the early twentieth century, manufacturers focused on electrical appliances to make a woman’s day easier.

Take a good look at this page from a 1918 Sears, Roebuck and Company catalog. In the center of the page you’ll find a Home Motor, designed to work with an assortment of hand-operated gadgets. The sewing machine, for example. Or buy your attachments, such as the egg beater, blender, buffer and grinder, or the personal vibrator with three different applicators!

“Not necessary to buy the complete vibrator {which is sold above the vibrator attachments} if you have the Home Motor”! I can just just picture the typical housewife, churning her milk, beating some eggs, knocking off a few "O"s then putting on the fan attachment so she'll be cool and smiling when her man comes home from work.

I wish they had infomercials back then. I would love to have seen the pitchman popping off the fan attachment and popping on a vibrator applicator. “It vibrates, it stimulates, it massages.” I’m sure he could come up with a few extra uses for the churn attachment, too. Just be careful not to try the grinder. Unless you’re into that kind of thing, of course!

I'll be back in two weeks with more silly, salacious bits of history to whet your appetite. In the meantime I'm going to try and find an inventor who can design a few "applicators" to work with my power tools. As Sears says, every woman would appreciate them.


  1. Wow. Hitachi's got nothing on that Sears "home motor". The Magic Wand might be the best thing since sliced bread but it definitely cannot also power a sewing machine!

  2. Love this! Come to think of it, I haven't been to Sears recently. I better plan a trip.