Friday, November 5, 2010

Fetish Friday: Safe Search is OFF.

“The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.”
- Alfred Kinsey

If you’d told me ten or even five years ago that I would ever be composing a blog post with the theme “Fetish Friday” I would have definitely asked for some of whatever you were smoking. But then again, if you’d told me five years ago that I would be celebrating my fifth book release, I’d have started demanding your keys and finding you a designated driver. And yet here I am, backlist under my belt, fixing to write a little something about fetishes. Or as one of our happy, kinky crew here at 1-800-DOM-help describes them, “the things that make us sweat”! 
We all know Rule 34 of the Internet (whatever it is, there is porn of it). Think of anything - anything at all - and not only is somebody somewhere turned on by it, but there is probably a discussion group or forum devoted entirely to that subject. Heck, there may even be a national convention. People who like to have sex wearing bunny slippers. People who like to have sex with bunny slippers. People who like to have sex (or perhaps even live their day-to-day lives) dressed up in full-on bunny suits. It's all out there, and so much more [Do not even get me started on the growing prevalence of tentacle porn and eel-related fetish videos. Oh, and by the way, you do not ever want to see my browser history]. 
The point is, people are turned on by all sorts of different things. Just about anything can be the focus of a fetish. If it’s something other than a typical sex toy (dildos and vibrators don’t count as fetish objects, no matter how we may adore them) and you are aroused by it, then it may be at the center of a sexual fetish. If you can't get aroused without it, of course, you know for sure. 
Of course the downside of all this variety is that people can develop fetishes centered around some very unsafe objects and/or activities (you’ll notice I’m not providing links to any of those). And for some people the focus on a sexual fetish can develop into a genuine paraphilic disorder (a fetish gone bad, essentially) if it’s causing them distress or causing others harm. 
But in a safe, sane, consensual environment, within the bounds of the law, exploring the world of fetishes can be good, clean or perhaps exquisitely dirty fun. And whether your interest is just casually kinky or truly focused, learning more about fetishes in general can teach you to see the entire world in a whole new light. Think outside the box. You may have sexual tastes you didn’t even know about! And even if you don’t, you can sure have a heck of a lot of fun finding out.
So stock up on condoms and lube, make sure your Safe Search is set to “Off,” and let your imagination soar. Or put on bunny slippers. Or roll around in chocolate pudding. Or cruise the produce aisle. 
Just please leave the eels out of it. 
What is the most unusual or intriguing fetish you've read about or come across? Let us know in the comments! 


  1. LOL so, I asked The Mr. what he thought was the most unusual or intriguing...and we both just stared at each other!
    I think we have become desensitized! lol
    THEN he came up with prolapsed anus! OMG WHY!!! WHY would you do this?????
    Anyways, he also thought up cervical insertion *shudder*...
    I know there are some things I like that others would consider bizarre :D But we don't need to get into

  2. Great topic Del! What struck me as I read was that fetishes may be a good way for people closer to vanilla in perspective could get a better insight into the D/s world. The way that one thing just DOES it for us almost beyond our understanding or choice. I remember reading on Dan Savage's blog about a man with a running shoe fetish on women. He'd be immediately turned on by seeing a woman's foot in running shoes. This certainly isn't the most unusual fetish, but it's a good example. What do you think? Although if your fetish is extreme, I don't think it will be building any bridges to the vanilla world. A very easily understood fetish may be one for leather, although I'm not sure everyone would classify this as fetish. But really, it's amazing how some people just LOVE it!

  3. Great post! I thought ginger-figging was a super kinky fetish when I first heard about it (putting peeled ginger in an orifice and it burns, can be used for punishment, pleasure, or both), but when I submitted the story I wrote about it (shameless plug: it's called Ginger Snap,& it's coming out 12/15 from Ellora's Cave) my editor was like "Oh yeah, ginger up the a**, that's old hat, everyone knows about that." I was like, really? Hmm. Interesting. So what's kinky and fetish to some is no big deal to others, lol!

  4. Michelle - running shoes! Gah, it must've been hard for him to go just about anywhere! I think a lot of people probably have fetishes and don't even realize that's what is going on. People are very sensitive to setting, to rituals - we aren't even always aware of them. I think the bridge to vanilla is maybe just heightened awareness for people that this is just a normal human reaction to regular, pleasurable reinforcement (what, doesn't everybody's mind jump to good ol' Skinner when they think about sex?).

  5. I caught a show on The Learning Channel recently called "Strange Sex." The episode was about a guy with a balloon fetish. A lot of people are into this I guess. Balloon fetishists are called Looners. Anyway, the young man got turned on blowing them up. Popping them. Well, just use your imagination. He seemed like a very sweet kid and it was cool to see him welcomed when he went to a fetish party.

    I think one of the toughest things to experience would be if you were put down for your fetish rather than celebrated. Unfortunately, I think that happens all too often.

  6. Francesca - I agree, and I think that marginalizing people who admit to fetishes has a lot of other negative consequences. And okay am I the only one who didn't see that balloon thing? Everybody was tweeting about it earlier.

    Shoshanna - I think after the whole practice w/ hamsters came to the public attention, inserting just about anything in the anal orifice pretty much became a Known Quantity. Not that it can't be hot...but it's lost the shock value, I guess. But I am eagerly anticipating your story, nevertheless!

    Natasha - You think you're jaded...but what does it say about me that I don't even have to click your link to know that somewhere on that site it will talk about how the Meeko the Raccoon toy from Pocahontas is a favorite with plushies everywhere? Apparently he has many fine...attributes. I'm not going to click that link though. Because I have already seen too many things I can't unsee, and I have young kids.

  7. Hahaha! Del, great post! My browser history could definitely be incriminating in some circles. With the story I'm writing, I've been hitting a lot of gay bondage sites. Sometimes research can get a little distracting. *cackle*