Monday, February 7, 2011

Edgeplay-Taking sex to the next level

Do you have fantasies about the edgier aspect of sex? Are there things you’d just love to try with your partner, things that arouse and stimulate you? Have you reached a point in your relationship where you have a great desire to push the boundaries? For many couples this is where edgeplay comes in.

Edgeplay is a subjective term for types of BDSM play that tend to push the boundaries of “safe, sane and consensual.” These types of play never, ever, however, go beyond what both of the partners desire. That’s the very first thing to remember. Nor is the safe word ever ignored. What constitutes edgeplay varies with the persons involved, and also over time.

For some it involves taking acceptable pain to the next level. How much can be tolerated? What releases the endorphins to such a point that the sub is actually high on it? This can be as simple as moving from spanking to the use of implements such as paddles or canes. Canes, because of the nature of the instrument, have become a favorite toy in edgeplay, at least as my research tells me. The bottom third of the cane delivers the greatest amount of punishment and applied appropriately can create a degree of pain that immediately blooms into pleasure.

For those who have pain fetishes, edgeplay can involved devising new ways to increase the intensity of pain. To ramp up the release of endorphins into the system and take the sub to a new plane of pleasure.

For others edgeplay can be as simple as prolonging the permission to achieve climax. In one example I read about, the Dom restrained her sub to a state of complete helplessness, then used hands, mouth and toys to stimulate the sub, repeatedly denying the sub the release of the climax. But as the edgeplay continued the erotic rush the sub received increased in intensity until when release was finally granted the orgasm exceeded anything previously experienced.

Rape fantasies are another popular form of edgeplay but this also involves a lot of psychological torment which both parties have to be on board with beforehand. They must discuss it in full detail first so both people are comfortable with their roles.

And like everything else in BDSM, there has to be complete trust between the partners. Never, ever try anything with someone you have any reason to mistrust. But if you are your partner are looking for a way to ramp up your sexual activities, edgeplay is something you might want to look into.

*** I want to thank all the people who chatted with me and patiently answered my questions on edgeplay. Look for it as the subject of my next 1-800-DOLMHelp story.

And be sure to check out my current release in the series, Delight Me.

Dani Maquire’s current Dom has suggested to her that her growing dissatisfaction with the lifestyle might be because she needs a role reversal, but how does she go about it? When a mysterious business card appears she calls the number, 1-800-DOMHelp and at the club, Unfettered, is paired with Ethan, a sexy as sin sub. In her first session, under the supervision of Mistress G, Dani learns the erotic effect of wielding the single tail whip on her sub the intense arousal that stimulating him with toys can bring. As their sessions progress, she explores with Ethan every aspect of D/s play, from restraints to punishment to the exercise of control to achieve mind-blowing orgasms. And she understands the value of receiving trust as well as giving it. But a funny thing happens on the way to immersing herself in the kinkiest sex possible—she develops very strong emotional feelings for Ethan that scare her to death. For two weeks she stays away from Unfettered and refuses all the calls from Ethan. But then she receives one from Mistress G that could change her life forever. Will she be brave enough to accept what’s being offered?

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1 comment:

  1. Desiree,
    What I like so much about this concept is that the definitions are unique to every couple. It is defined by what the particular boundary is for those individuals. What is the edge for one, may be old hat for another. Or, in turn, so over the cliff they would never even attempt it. Great post!