Do you have fantasies about the edgier aspect of sex? Are there things you’d just love to try with your partner, things that arouse and stimulate you? Have you reached a point in your relationship where you have a great desire to push the boundaries? For many couples this is where edgeplay comes in.
Edgeplay is a subjective term for types of BDSM play that tend to push the boundaries of “safe, sane and consensual.” These types of play never, ever, however, go beyond what both of the partners desire. That’s the very first thing to remember. Nor is the safe word ever ignored. What constitutes edgeplay varies with the persons involved, and also over time.
For some it involves taking acceptable pain to the next level. How much can be tolerated? What releases the endorphins to such a point that the sub is actually high on it? This can be as simple as moving from spanking to the use of implements such as paddles or canes. Canes, because of the nature of the instrument, have become a favorite toy in edgeplay, at least as my research tells me. The bottom third of the cane delivers the greatest amount of punishment and applied appropriately can create a degree of pain that immediately blooms into pleasure.
For those who have pain fetishes, edgeplay can involved devising new ways to increase the intensity of pain. To ramp up the release of endorphins into the system and take the sub to a new plane of pleasure.
For others edgeplay can be as simple as prolonging the permission to achieve climax. In one example I read about, the Dom restrained her sub to a state of complete helplessness, then used hands, mouth and toys to stimulate the sub, repeatedly denying the sub the release of the climax. But as the edgeplay continued the erotic rush the sub received increased in intensity until when release was finally granted the orgasm exceeded anything previously experienced.
Rape fantasies are another popular form of edgeplay but this also involves a lot of psychological torment which both parties have to be on board with beforehand. They must discuss it in full detail first so both people are comfortable with their roles.
And like everything else in BDSM, there has to be complete trust between the partners. Never, ever try anything with someone you have any reason to mistrust. But if you are your partner are looking for a way to ramp up your sexual activities, edgeplay is something you might want to look into.
*** I want to thank all the people who chatted with me and patiently answered my questions on edgeplay. Look for it as the subject of my next 1-800-DOLMHelp story.
And be sure to check out my current release in the series, Delight Me.