Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Switching Channels

One of the aspects of the BDSM lifestyle that fascinates me, and that I’m trying to better understand is the switch. According to the book Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, a switch (not the stick made from a willow, ash or birch tree branch which probably stings like hell) is a person who plays both the dominant and submissive sides of the SM game.
To me this seems like you’d be getting the best of both worlds. To some, a switch is erroneously thought to be someone just sitting on the fence or indecisive about one’s kink orientation. Fetlife, a kink-related social networking site, says a switch enjoys satisfying their Dominant and submissive sides.
Would mentioning you’re a switch at a munch or a play party get you a few disapproving looks? Maybe. For the most part, after viewing the forums on a couple lifestyle sites, lifestylers are openminded and caring people, many in committed loving relationships. There may always be a few strong-minded (insert jerks here) ones that may disagree with the preference of a switch.
An ideal partner for a switch would be another switch. But switches also partner with Dominants and submissives. Rules must be agreed upon. A switch must NEVER change roles during a scene.
A Dom and a switch may be dominants together in a scene with a submissive but the switch would not be more dominant than her Dom.
Now the wheels are turning for another story idea. Hmmmm.


  1. Kathy,
    Great post! My very favorite character I've ever written was a switch. Roman from Bound Odyssey. He is dominant when it came to the second hero and a submissive when it came to the heroine. Makes for many interesting situations. Sexuality is never a straight forward process and relationships are all relative.

  2. Thanks Michelle. Bound Odyssey sounds interesting. A switch as a character would make for interesting dynamics in a story.